𝑳𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒍 𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒕 {Discontinued}

𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒓 •5•

"I specifically told you not to go." Czar yelled at Sveta while holding her drunk body.
"Where's the fun in thatttt" She giggles then a hiccup follows. I groan taking off my heels.
Sveta ended up drinking half of the bar.
"I told you not to take her." Czar yells at me. I really was in no mood to be doing this right now. "Czar just drop it. She's only drunk." I reply staying calm. There was absolutely no reason to why he's so mad.

"She's only drunk? What is wrong with you?" He lays Sveta on the couch as I grab a drink of water. "And why do you care? You stopped caring years ago Czar." I slam the glass of water on the kitchen island. "Would you stop reminding me? Maybe I'd be able to change." He walks over. I chuckle and pat his shoulder.

"If you wanted to change Czar, you wouldn't have left me that night." I refer to a dark night.
The night where the world caved in on me.
I felt nothing towards it though.
He stayed quiet with nothing to say.
"Sveta." I look over to her sleeping body.
"You stay away from her, she's just a half naked slut to you. Isn't she?" I refer to what he thought of her first time they met.

I walk past Czar as I could smell the shame he was in. He's great. Always been there, right?
Was he really there? Is he even here right now?
"I lived in the mistakes of our family, you? You left because you couldn't be there." I shake my head.

❦

"His impostor name is Ian Nelson." I inform Seo as we sat in my office. We were researching his identity to gain more information.
"Roselyn 345" Seo looks up from his laptop.
So he didn't live too far. Hm.
"I'll let Czar know so he can come-" Seo began to speak but I interrupt him. "Do it in his office, I won't be home." I get up leaving the office.

I wasn't in a very good mood to be discussing shit with Czar. Forgiving and forgetting were two things I could never wrap my head around.
No matter how hard I try. Nothing could erase the voids within me. I stopped feeling the pain or anything that came with it but yet I can not forget or forgive.

"IVINA! Great yes, drive me to work, pleaseee?" Sveta flutters her eyelashes at me and I grin as my mood lights up. "Say less doll." I mock and we giggle our way to the car.

❦

"I'll be in the back rooms getting ready." Sveta informs and before I could say anything she was already away. I walk over to the bar ready to just drink away every thing running through my head. Drinking became one of my best friends. It has helped through hell and back.

"Vodka." I instantly say as I sit up the leather stools. I was fully knocked out today. The day after a mission is always the worst. Bad hair. Bad outfit. I mean I was literally wearing a black tank top and black sweatpants. Bad mood. Bad thinking, it's needed because there's always something else I have to do.

The bartender fetches me my vodka and I smile. "Where's Damon?" I ask as I pour half of the vodka bottle down my throat.
The bartender went to speak but Damon slipped out. He was one of the bartenders and he is another male I can tolerate, he's gay.
"Did I hear my name?" He smiled and walked over. "You are just the person I need." I smile as I finish the bottle.

"Geez love, not a good day?" He sits opposite me on the other end of the bar. I shake my head as a "no". He gives me a sympathetic look and I chuckle. I'm the most vulnerable when I'm in a bad mood and drunk.
"Pass me a bottle." I ask and he does so. He doesn't support my drinking but he does what's best for my crazy self.