i escape my mother tongue like i escape my name
the name that my parents gave me when i was born and they did not know who i was
or what i was
so it was given in vain
and it was spoken in vain ever since
(until-)
i escape my tongue and i escape my voice
and all of my recurring dreams are one which is the dream of not being myself
and the horror of waking is that of being me again
and all i do i do to give myself a new voice
a new name or a new body
dreams of reincarnation seep unconsciously into my conscious mind
promises of things in which i cannot believe
and i condemn myself by my own lack of faith.
