Chapter 34: Risks Be Damned

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"Andrea! Wake up!"

Bobby's voice startled me awake, my hand instantly gripping the gun inside of my pillow. It didn't take me long to recognize that the other side of the bed was empty and I had a horrible feeling that I knew exactly what had transpired.

Cursing myself for falling asleep, I launched out of bed and straight into the living room. "Where is he?" I said quietly. My voice was the calm before the storm that promised the coming destruction.

"Adam's gone. Cass just brought back Dean. He's in a hell of a shape down in the panic room-"

Not bothering to let him finish, my feet were already leading me down stairs. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to shake him until he understood how much pain he was causing all of us. There was so much I wanted to do, but when I walked into the panic room and saw him cuffed, beaten and bloody, to the cot in the middle of the room, all I could do was sink to my knees in front of him.

"He'll be okay," Sam whispered. He was sulking in the far corner of the room, out of sight. "Castiel just got a little upset."

I shook my head, face scrunched up as I tried to keep myself from letting out the frustration and tears that threatened to expose my feelings. "He won't be okay. He left us twice. He'll try again." My voice was hoarse with emotion.

Sam didn't respond. Instead, the only sound between us was the tick of our watches marching time forward in perfect synchronization. The sound echoed in the little room, louder and louder until it was almost deafening and the room seemed to close in around me. My thoughts even seemed to be too loud as one single notion raced through my mind over and over: I had to end this. Standing up and wiping my damp cheek angrily, I spun around.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, worry lacing his features at the sight of my warpath expression.

I managed to take a deep breath. "He's gonna wake up." The statement was obvious as I pointed at the unconscious man I had unwittingly fallen in love with. "I'm not sure if you're gonna let him go or not, but he's gonna wake up. And when he does," I clenched my hands to keep them from shaking, "you all will go looking for Adam. If you need me, don't. Because I've gotta do something." Sam's expression was enough to make me almost take back what I had said, but instead, I hardened my heart and rose a hand to quiet any attempt to change my mind.

"Andy, you're not making any sense!"

My smile was heart breaking, perhaps the most open my expression had been in a long time. "I know, Jolly. I know. But promise me you won't give up on our little band of misfits. We have a chance." I made my way over to him and kissed his cheek softly. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Andy-"

"When he wakes up, you tell him I'm gone. Tell him that I still believe he'll do what's right. But if he doesn't, you tell him I'll be the one to kill him." Something unrecognizable passed across Sam's face at my words, but it was gone before I could decipher it. "Aim straight, Jolly." I told him, walking away quickly.

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