Brains

Chapter 1

A Beauty. A jock. An outcast. A rebel. A brain.

We've all heard it before. This is nothing new.

I'm staring outside the window during 5th period AP chemistry. There's junior guys outside throwing a football around in their jerseys. Girls with letterman jackets sit around chatting and look at a phone all while I'm supposed to be learning about chemical reactions. I sit there, and I wonder, when will anything truly happen to me. Mr. Brooks stands there enraptured by his own speech on the ability of different types of bonds between atoms. I long for a different life. One where I am more shallow and don't care about my grades. Or maybe, in the other life I'm less shallow so I don't care about my grades.

My best friend, Kelsey sits next to me avidly taking notes. I doubt she'd notice if an earthquake happened. Our other fellow mathletes sit across the rows. I wonder if they've ever pondered what it would be like to not be a loser. I'm sure they have, but we've all been conditioned to say we'd rather have 'real friends' than be popular.

Here's a harsh truth. There are no 'real friends' in high school no matter what social standing you are. Okay, your best friend may be a 'real friend', but other than one person, there's literally no one. If you think you have more than one real friend, then you're either delusional or really good at lying to yourself.

Brrrrrring. The bell snaps me back to Mr. Brooks's speech.

"Okay, well that's all the time we have today class. Make sure to do the chapter 12 questions in the textbook because they'll be due next class. Have a great weekend!"

Thank god.

Kelsey rushes to put all her books and binders in her bag. But, I take my sweet goddamn time. I have AP Calculus after this, and I could do calculus with my eyes closed. Perks of having a college mathematics professor dad is that the only way you can probably bond is through math so he makes you do practice problems on weekends.

Kelsey doesn't so much as glance at me as she takes off for her next class and neither do my fellow nerds.

"You might want to hurry Addie, your next class starts in less than five minutes and you're the last one here." Mr. Brooks says. I'm not sure if he says this to the person who leaves his classroom last everyday, or if I'm just the lucky gal.

"Sure thing Mr. Brooks," I respond.

Mr. Brooks taps his foot, clearly waiting for me to put away my binders instead of staring into outer space for forever.

I put the binders away, I can tell Mr. Brooks only wants to start his weekend, after all adults are just grown up kids. I pack up my bag, and I start to loiter around the hallways, by this point, even if I wanted to go to AP Calculus on time, I couldn't because it's on the other side of the building. I stare out the windows on the second story floor of this terrible highschool.

"Ms. Clemenson," a voice calls. I see a wisp of a beard out of my peripheral, and groan internally. "Aren't you supposed to be at your next class," Mr. Gerry asks me.

I push back a lock of my mousy brown hair, and give a sickly sweet smile.

"Of course, but Mr. Brook needed some papers from the teachers lounge, and I was entrusted to go get them before my next class started. I realize he forgot to give me a note, but I can go back and get one," I sweet talk.

Mr. Gerry huffs, but as I don't have a single bad mark on my attendance and all the teachers only say complimentary things towards me, I'm almost positive he won't call my bluff.

"No, that'll only waste more of your time. Sorry to bother you," Mr. Gerry says.

Here's a secret. Being a "good" kid has more advantages in highschool than you will ever know because all of the teachers trust you without giving a second thought. You can squeeze your way through any sort of trouble by some sort of innocent explanation. I've been doing it for years.

My legs still don't bring me to AP Calculus though, instead I find myself standing in the courtyard where the junior guys were previously throwing a football. I don't have it in me today to pretend to be the good girl I'm supposed to be. I'll call the office pretending to be my father later, but for now, I soak in the sun. I sit on an empty bench and feel the tears run down my face.

I decide it's too easy to get caught ditching class in the middle of the courtyard, so I walk to the park. It's a half a mile walk, but that's where most of the stoners and popular kids hang out. It's one period before school lets out so no one is here this time of day. The park is completely empty. It's perfect. This time I don't sit under a bench, instead I sit underneath a tree. I lean up against the trucks of the tree and soak in the small breeze granted to me. I close my eyes and dream up a better reality, one where I'm not yearning for life to happen to me. I'm not sure how long my eyes are closed when I hear a voice.