Two sides of the same whole (Shigga x Dabi x Deku)

An Internal War

***This means trigger warning***
Hope you enjoy ^^

*(Izuku's pov)*

Ever since Kacchan told me to take a swan dive off the roof of a building that's all I can think about. "What if he's right?" a voice said in a sweet and almost seductive tone with such familiarity it sent shivers down my spine. But it wasn't my normal thinking, it was almost as if someone was right next to me speaking.Almost. But that wasn't what was worrying, but the fact that the voice of the person sounded identical to mine just void of all worries and sanity. I quickly look over my shoulder expecting to see another me or maybe someone with a quirk that allows them to appear as so anyway. But what I'm met with is far more concerning. I saw nothing, no one, not even an animal nor bug in sight. I sped up my pace walking home only to realize that what was to meet me at home was much worse than empty air. A drunken excuse of a mother who once claimed to love me. That all changed the day I went to the quirk doctor and was officially proclaimed quirkless. Everything was all because of that stupid quirk doctor and a stupid mistake. I'm not and never have been quirkless. I was just a late bloomer is all. My quirk is what I like to call fallen angel. I can create this black mist that I can make any shape or thing as well as make it deadly to the touch. I have angelic wings that were once white but have been dark gray for awhile. They apparently change with my mental state and emotions. I sigh as I step up to mine and my moms apartment preparing for the drunken lectures and beatings. I take a deep breath as I walk through the door and instantly smell the heavy waft of alcohol. I announce that I'm home and get no response. That's odd. I usually get a drunken "YoU diSResPeCTfUL ExCusE oF a ChiLD!!!!!!!" or "WhY ArE yOu BaCk HerE uSeiNg mY ResOrCes YoU piEce Of sHiT???" But I heard nothing. I walk in heading to the kitchen and walk past the island to see something in my peripheral vision. It looks like a lump on the floor. My heart freezes in my chest. My mother may have beaten me everyday and no longer loved me but she was all I had. I slowly turn around and notice the puddle of blood I had not seen before and scream when I meet my mother's lifeless eyes and fall to the ground. I run to the entry way and dial 911. "911 what's your emergency?" I start to panic and say in a rushed and urgent way "MynameisIzukuMidoriyaandI justcamehomefromschoolandIfoundmymominapuddleofbloodonthefloorshe'sallIhaveleftwhatdoIdo?" I say as tears stream down my face. "Sir, I need you to calm down. Can you please repeat that slower?" I take a deep breath and say "My name is Izuku Midoriya and I just came home from school and I found my mom in a puddle of blood on the floor." as I feel tears run down my face "Sir I need you to check to see if she has a pulse." "Okay" I say as I lean down and put two fingers to where her pulse should be and feel.....nothing. "She's dead" I whisper through more tears. "Can you locate the pulse sir?" the voice on the line questions. "There is none" I respond in a monotone voice void of emotion suddenly feeling numb. "....Help is on the way sir, but in the meantime I need you to try and preform CPR on her until the paramedics arrive." I numbly respond with a unmotivated and almost non-caring tone"Okay...." The woman on the phone tells me she will stay on the phone and guide me with the procedure steps of CPR. "First put the heel of your dominant hand at the center of her chest. Then you will put your other hand over your dominant hand and interlock your fingers. You will then proceed to do the chest compression's. When you are done with the chest compression's open her mouth while pinching her nose closed and add a rescue breath. When you watch her chest fall you will then preform another rescue breath. You will then continue to do thirty chest compression's as well as the two breath rhythmical pattern until the ambulance is there. They are now on their way and should be there in about six minutes. So please hold out till then, and continue the the steps if you can hear me please respond when you can." I hum a response as I add another breath while pinching her nose and continue the chest compression in an almost robotic cycle. The paramedics arrive in approximately nine minutes later and check her vital signs and injuries. I then notice as they lift her shirt to inspect her injuries the multiple stab wounds on her abdomen. And I start to feel....boiling rage and a manic laughter rise up in my throat threatening to spill out and tears leak out of my eyes. I then release a choked sound. I feel as though I'm loosing my mind at a more rapid pace than I thought could be humanly possible. I then excuse myself before I can continue to be interrogated farther and completely loose it. One of the officers start to follow me and are then held back by another officer telling him to give me time while shaking his head. And that's when I see the his facial expression. Pity. I Know that all face to well, and hate it with a passion. I feel my anger like the skin to the beginning of a blister forming from the scorching heat of a new burn. I also feel the urge to just pop the blister, and to just not worry about the consequences. The possibility of letting myself be susceptible to infection and the guaranteed pain that would come, its as alluring as an addict to a drug. A magnet to a metal, a moth to a flame, a bear to honey, a fly to a corpse. It was meant to happen. Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit and changing the course of humanity forever. Sometimes life just has to happen to people. They say that people under pressure tend to show their true colors, but in reality we just become what was needed to survive this cruel world. And me, well....I'm a new type of butterfly just starting to come out of my cocoon. But I'm no longer this delicate flower, a damsel in distress. I'm something that you should fear. I adapted to the poison of this world and became something worse. A monster that feeds off your pain and enjoys it like a delicacy. The thing that surprises me though isn't what I've become, but the fact that it feels so.......good. All I want to do is exploit these feelings and let myself be free from the rules of the world, and break through the cage that we have trapped ourselves in. I giggle to myself like a mad man. I sigh in pure bliss and say aloud to myself" I've gone completely bonkers and I'm enjoying it!!!!!!!!!" I double over with laughter and say out of breath"GOD!!!WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO THIS SOONER????I FEEL FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!FINALLY FREE FROM THIS PRISON OF SANITY!!!!!" I soon dimmer down my laughter, but still feeling better than I ever have in my whole life. I start to skip out of the ally while humming to myself with joy.