John and Karen

Part Three Silence

John hasn't said anything. Karen occasionally holds her breath, she thinks that it would protrude her boobs. But John is sitting in a distance to her. He is looking out of the window and seems to be pondering.
Karen is struck with bitterness. She feels rejected, she wants to weep but stifles her agitation.

She prepared for this day. While she shaved her legs she stood in front of the big mirror. She looked at herself. It's the only mirror she has. She had bought it out of a fad. She couldn't tell why. The big mirror in front of the dresser was supposed to be her guide and help her to match the colors of her clothes, look at her beauty and ensure herself she is a gorgeous woman. But the mirror was left unused. She didn't buy the fancy clothes and wasn't asked out by guys. The mirror caught dust and she moved it into a corner. She wouldn't even look at herself anymore, only the mirror in the bathroom would let her stare into her face. Karen got used to not looking at her feminity, her boobs, her ass, her tighs.

But then the invitation happened. At first, Karen was thrilled and excited, but then her excitement turned into despair. She thought about sex. She hadn't thought about sex in a while. Karen knows how to make small talk, how to make people like her with politeness and compliments. But she lost her self-esteem when she thought about sex. How would it start? What do men like in women? How would she look like, when he takes her from behind? Karen picked her smartphone and made some photos of how she might look like when she lays on top. She jumped up and down, how would her boobs bounce. Karen's boobs had developed normally, for a fact her boobs of medium size gave her entire appearance a well-proportionated appeal, but Karen was still haunted by her experiences in school, she didn't feel woman enough.

She had watched some porn, she had looked at big boobed pornstars in bitterness and envy. She got stuck in the scenes where the women lay on top and their big boobs bounce up and down. This image put Karen into a frenzy.

"Everyone watches porn!" 😣

She thought about John watching porn, watching these beautiful big boobed pornstars, being mesmerized by their bouncing boobs. She lost all her courage.

"I can't go there!" 😭

Karen wouldn't go, she had made up her mind. She got mad, she didn't know why, but she wanted to look at herself, wanted to slap herself. Her hatred mixed with curiosity. She dragged the big mirror in front of the dresser. She had covered it. She ripped the cover of the mirror away as someone rips away a bandage. She wanted to face her nightmare.
She stood in front of the mirror, tearfully. She grew silent. There she was a skinny woman, with medium-sized boobs. Nature didn't bestow her broad hips, big boobs, or full lips. There she was, this was Karen. She just stared at herself for a while. She was still wearing a slip. She pulled her slip down. She stared at her tighs and her clitoris.
She hadn't shaved her vagina in a while. She would shave her vagina back when she had some expectations that men would eventually see the deeply passionate feminine beast inside her, but nothing happened in her life.
She stared at her hairy crouch.

"I've never seen my vagina! 😶

She took a chair, sat in front of the mirror, then spread her legs and revealed her eyes and soul her vagina. She could see that underneath the hair, the despair and secret cravings is a beautiful flower, ready to be discovered. She never looked at it. She never saw that inside her, underneath is a beauty yet to be discovered.
She looked at her face, her gaze swiped down from her lips to her boobs, her belly, to her clitoris, and her vagina. She prised with on hand her vagina open. She opened the beautiful flower. She imagined a man kissing her lips, kissing her boobs and striking them, striking her feminity, kissing her belly, sucking her clitoris and opening the lonely flower and rubbing it gently, bringing to life and opening it to the erotic warmth. 

Karen felt like that she had another self, a woman self living inside her. The woman that was kept from experiencing pleasure. These lips have never moaned in ecstasy, these boobs were never pinched between fingers and the ravenous tongue of a man. This clitoris was hidden from the world, this beautiful body did never twist and turn while having an orgasm. This body never mirrored the seductive mad hormonal craving of a man. Never did eyes see this gorgeous beauty to devour it and lose themselves in it.

Karen started rubbing her clitoris, she started to put fingers in her vagina, and with the other hand, she swiped over her lips, pinched her nipples, and drove this imaginative male gaze down to her belly, sucking her belly button.
She imagined the man kneeling in front of her. His eyes filled with awe. He didn't expect this beauty, this sex goddess. He thought she is just one of these ordinary girls, but he got struck by her femininity. His breath was taken away, he became dizzy. And he felt stupid, so stupid that he fell down his knees and apologized to Karen. He was stupid to not see the beautiful woman, this gorgeous boobs, this beautiful flower.
Karen got up and spread her legs, imagined a man kneeling in front of her, she prised the insulted flower open and pressed this man's insulting mouth against it.

"That's for your stupid remarks! Is this woman enough for you! 🖤💥

The man became addicted and couldn't stop licking her vagina. Karen saw into her eyes in the mirror, into the depth of desires and erotic fantasies. Behind these eyes, behind this nice polite smile is an insulted woman, who will take her revenge and stuff their mouths with her flower.
Karen stared at this woman she could have been, this feminine beast that doesn't care about social conventions. She takes what she needs, this is about her and what she needs. Never again will a man pass her without taking notice of this gorgeous woman and anticipate the sex goddess underneath these glasses, this polite smile, and lips.

Karen didn't care what anyone thought about herself, she thought about herself as a gorgeous appealing woman. She doesn't need to hide from anyone. Karen didn't feel so good about herself in a long time. She had a massive orgasm. Her entire body twisted and turned in front of the mirror. Her imagined repentant man stared at this formidable woman in awe. She imagined the man on her knees and his face covered in her femininity. She marked him, she broke him, she taught him, she slapped him and all he could do is kneel in front of his sex goddess and beg her forgiveness so that she might bestow her attention to him again.
Karen decided to meet John.

But now in the hotel room, this sex goddess is close to tears.

"Did I fool myself?"