dazed // weston koury

chapter three

july 13th, 2020.

alex's pov:

weston comes back to the table and is quiet.

"are you okay?" i ask him quietly.

"i'm fine" he says as he looks away from me and goes on his phone.

what's with him? kalynn can't be right. there's no way.

me and weston have been best friends for so long now and we've always been the touchy and all over each other but it never meant anything.

we joke about being in love but i've never thought into it enough, maybe we literally are in love but i'm just clueless. this is why i'm bad at relationships. i've never been able to fully understand my feelings and know how to express them.

but risking our friendship and closeness would be something i would never do. i feel like weston must feel the same way. but also maybe it is worth it???

i'm gonna talk to him about all this when we get back to their apartment, i need to know how he feels and figure out how i even feel.

i do really love wes. i just always thought it was platonic.....but maybe it truly isn't?

~

it's about 5pm and we get back to their apartment.

"guys i'm gonna go shower and stuff then we can watch the movie, is that okay?" kalynn asks.

"yes of course take your time" i say.

weston walks into his room and i follow him.

"wes-"

weston turns around and grabs my face and kisses me, cutting me off. after a few seconds we pull apart and i just stare at him with my jaw on the floor.

"i'm sorry alex i just-"

i kiss him again, cutting him off this time.

"i know" i say as i pull away. our breath hitting each other's face as we gaze into each other's eyes.

"i just needed to see what it was like. needed to see why i craved to do that so dearly for years" weston says as we fully pull away from each other.

"it was exactly what i pictured. exactly what i needed" weston says.

"just please be patient with me weston, you know how i am. and the risk...it's a lot" i say.

"i know. it's an insane risk but i feel like it's worth it. i'll be patient and i'll wait for you, just please make sure you are true to your feelings" weston says.

"i will, thank you sue" i say.

"and thank you al" weston says.

we hug and walk to the living room, pretending absolutely nothing just happened.

that kiss was...something else. it was amazing. i don't have much experience in that department. in fact i'm pretty rusty.

i hope i can figure out my feelings and not let anyone down. risking it and then regretting it is my biggest fear. but so is rejecting him and regretting it.

UGH i hate feelings. i wish i could just follow my heart and make decisions that way but my fucking heart doesn't even know what it wants.

i'll give it time, i know seeing him more and more will help me form a decision. i just hope nothing bad happens.

kalynn finally comes out and we all decide to watch the next pitch perfect movies.