I Never Told You What I Do For A Living | Bucky Barnes

5. Broken and Defeated

Chapter 5
Broken and Defeated

    New prisoners. That was a statement that sent shivers down my spine. But it made my blood run cold when I heard that it was the one-oh-seventh. I couldn't be so unlucky that I could be taken and tortured, only to have my guy be taken only a few months after I am.

    Apparently, I am though, seeing as James 'Bucky' Barnes, Timothy 'Dum Dum' Dugan, and Gabe Jones - along with about another hundred men - were led into the room, and placed in the cell next to mine. They had no idea what they were in for, and if HYDRA finds out about my relationship with one of the prisoners... Seeing him harmed would be the thing that caused all my months of silence, to be in vain.

    To be honest, I don't think Bucky even recognized me at first, but why would he? I know I wasn't facing him, but I'd lost weight, I was pale, my hair hadn't been brushed, and the bags round my eyes made them look sunken... I looked haunted, or like I was a ghost. And I was. I felt like a ghost of my former self.

    I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them; my head resting on my knees. I wanted to feel something, but I couldn't. Even with my friends in danger, I had built up such a wall around my emotions, that it was going to take something big for everything to come crashing down.

    "Rachel? Are you okay?"

    "Not really." I answered, my voice cracking slightly from its little use and all the screaming I'd done from today's experimentation, which I'd been calling torture for some time now, "But I will be. Don't worry, Jacques."

    There was a gasp from behind, and then Bucky's weak voice. And I wanted to curse myself for being so stupid. Bucky had heard me speak French before, so of course, he would recognize my voice. He might not have if I'd spoken in German, but I don't think anybody but the 'guards' would understand what I was saying, and I didn't want them to know what I was talking about. I really think they haven't let me die because I was the only test subject who didn't die, and I could translate what they were saying.

    "Lizzie?" I knew it was Bucky, weak voice or not, and I didn't have to turn around to know that he was looking through the bars at me, "Is that you? Is this where you've been all these months?"

    Even though my body ached, and I felt so cold that I thought I was freezing, I had to see him with my own two eyes. See if it wasn't just my brain playing tricks on me again, when in actual fact I was in Doctor Zola's lab, strapped to the table and hallucinating like had happened to me multiple times.

    "Bucky?" The pain of turning round caused, had me gritting my teeth and breathing heavily, but just to see his face, it was worth it, "It's really you?" I reached through the bars to take his outstretched hand; a single tear rolling down my cheek... He felt real, "I'm sorry I haven't been writing. I should've tried to get in contact."

    "It's alright, Doll." He cut me off my rambling, and gently squeezed my hand, like I might break at any moment, "What matters, is that you're alive, and we're together. You know, it's almost been a year since we met? You were wearing this red dress, and having a drink in memory of your brother. We can celebrate when we get out of here. Just you and me. We can go someplace warm."

    "I like the sound of that." I nodded tiredly, closing my eyes, "Maybe we could go to Brooklyn... Meet Stevie..."

    Bucky squeezed my hand a little tighter, and my eyes opened slightly. "Let me see those beautiful green eyes, Doll... Now you're not allowed to give up on me, you hear? We'll get out of here somehow. You'll meet Stevie. He's going to be excited to meet you. I told him about you in my letters."