Foster Love

Chapter 1

        My name is Jenny Hawthorne, and for starters: My life sucks. I'm 15 and am in the 10th grade. I've lived in 10 foster homes, and I just happen to be that child that gets all the sucky families. I don't remember my parents, I just remember that they loved me and each other...that's how i know that all my foster families suck. When i was 4 they both committed suicide. My mom had cancer and the pain became to much but my dad was so in love that he wasn't gonna let her leave alone. Apparently the story of Romeo and Juliet isn't Just a story quite yet. So they decided to drink poison at the same time. I was left alone for 3 days. Finally one of my neighbors, Kara, who would babysit me occasionally, realized that our mailbox in the lobby (did i mention we lived in a penthouse?) was overflowing. Then it hit her that no one  had left our apartment at all. Not for work or anything so she decided to come see if we were okay. When she walked in, the house was a mess. Food, blankets, pillows, and makeup were strewn everywhere, and I had the radio blaring....I was 4, I didn't realize what had happened. So i got taken away, and 2 months later, the day my caseworker said she had a family for me, was the day my life officially became hell. 

        If you care to know the summary of how the next 11 years of my life went, then keep reading. If you want to get to the present time then just skip to chapter 2....

        I went to my first foster home when I was 4, and I was there for 2 years. Their names were Shane and Mia. Mia was awesome and by far the best foster parent!! But Shane was less so. Shane is the reason I have trust issues and don't like to be touched, EVER. Most kids love the hallway time between classes, but that's the worst part of the day for me because of him.

        When you're 4 you believe what you're told, and I was told it was a game. If I cried during "the game" (which I did a lot for the first few weeks), I got hit. So instead I would cry myself to sleep. He made me swear to never tell Mia. It was supposed to be our little secret since it was our game.

        One day, about 2 years later, I walked in on Shane and Mia playing the game late at night. Fortunately they didn't see me come in, but I decided to talk to Mia about it in the morning. The next day when Shane left to go get donuts for us I walked up to her and said "You and Shane play the game too?" She looked really confused for a moment and then said "Jenny, what are you talking about?"

        I replied "Last night I heard weird noises so I came into your room and you and Shane were playing the same game we do...I don't really like the game as much as you do though. But please don't tell him i said that!!" Mia became alarmed but back then i didn't fully understand why. She asked me some more questions about it and forced me to go into grave detail...though I'm not about to do that again, so you'll just have to come up with your own sick and twisted ideas of what exactly happened.

        That very day, Shane was arrested, my social worker, Catherine, came and got me, and 2 hours later I was at a new house. This one only lasted for 6 months though. They wanted a kid who would show them the same love and affection they gave. If Shane hadn't screwed me over, both literally and figuratively, then I could have. But because of what had happened just the night before, and the fact that I was only 6 and these people were complete strangers, I just couldn't. So they told the case worker they didn't want me, and i was moved again.

        I was at my next foster home for 3 years. the first year was pretty good. they respected my space and were super nice. But when i was about 7 in a half-8, I began to lash out. I was mad my parents had killed themselves and left me alone and so i took it out on them. Eventually they got fed up with me and once again, I had to leave.

        When I was 9 I was put into my 4th foster home. This one only lasted a year though, thank God. It was at this house that i really began to hate my life. Apparently there are many foster parents who have a tendency to put their foster kids into child prostitution. Thankfully, social workers are aware of this and so therefore many of them have fake profiles on the online site. Catherine's assistant, Cameron, was on the site one night and recognized my name....to bad he was a year late.

       At age 10 was when I started running. The next foster home I was in, I was there for 2 years. I ended up running away though because they just didn't care. I'd get yelled at for nothing, I barely got enough food, and they were just horrible people, so I ran away during my second year there. The next 3 homes were the same way. I ran from my 6th home after 2 months, my 7th after 5 months, and the 8th after 4 months. 

        Then when i was 13 I was put into my 9th home, which wasn't that bad...kind of. They were addicts and so i became one too, which I didn't mind. I was always high so I wasn't concerned about how much I hated life. But of course the caseworker found out and so I got moved yet again.

        I was 14 when i was put into my current home, and I've been here a year. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not to bad, but it's not really good either. I wouldn't have made it without Amber. Amber was the oldest kid living here when i arrived. She took me under her wing and helped me soo much. Our "parents" aren't that bad. They give us all one gift for our birthday and Christmas, but that's were the niceness ends. Their rules suck. The first thing they told me when i got here was to NEVER call them mom and dad because their not our parents. I wouldn't have called them that anyways though so whatever. But i was then told that if I wanted food I was to get a job and buy my own. That's when Amber helped out. She gave me half of her food and earnings until I started learning all of her tricks to getting money. She was like my big sister. Last month she turned 18 and got the hell out of here though. Before she left she swore so many times that she would be back for me, but I haven't heard from her since she left.

         Every night I lay awake hoping she'll come back for me

        ....I hope she's doing okay.

        .....I really miss her....