Cherry Blossom

Pov : its my s/o

He looked at me when he finished reading it. I waited with my heart beating fast to listen to what he had to say. He seemed lost in deep thought. When i couldn't be patient anymore, I gasped. He understood my urge and finally spoke, "i won't tell you how I felt". i was unancipated that i just stared at him blankly. Then i said, "you know whatever i write, I show it to you first. Whatever u think is very important to me". "I know very well, its just making me dig up something from inside me and I, I dont think i can put it out there without sounding irrational", he said. "Are u feeling lost", i asked. Looking at the ceiling he spoke, "I dont know, I just dont know how i have been feeling for quite some time and thats what bothering me. I wasn't like this before, I used to be very clear about my feelings and everything surrounding me. When i read your writing piece, i couldn't help but think it was about me, like reading this, it felt like there was no fourth wall", he took a breath in and spoke again, "what if this feeling stays with me all my life? What if I am lost in every situation i come acrossing the future. The worst of all is loosing myself in everything. Maybe i want to be happy with how I am"

I asked him, "if you had to go to a time when nothing bothered you and you were happy with whatever it was, when would that be?"
he replied without any hesitation, "Just 2 months back. That would work". I was like," Just 2 months?!". "yeah ig"

i didn't have any clue what to say but i kept on saying- "when i wrote it, i wasn't even thinking of writing it. Someone had given me this advice to write it all out whenever i was feeling lost, it was you. you know how much i love you and would never hurt you someway i know you would be hurt or feel lost. I want you to keep the belief in your heart so that the light reaches you when everything seems dark. You will find yourself everytime you get lost. And please, never let yourself deal with the difficulties or pain you feel inside till the last stop. I am here and I will be here when you do call out my name. You can share anything even if it doesn't make any sense. Just like I don't make sense most of the time."

He simply asked, "Even when we are apart?"
"Especially when we are apart", I said. I took a deep breath and tried closing my eyes while drops of tears fell off my eyes. Maybe the word 'apart' was too strong that hit me so hard. Maybe the words "we" and "apart" didnt go with each other. I knew i had to escape that feeling somehow right that moment. I believed whatever ups and downs may have happened, underneath the surface there will always some genuine feeling waiting for him to be noticed.

That time only when he notices he will tell me that how much he loves me but with a different look in his eyes and i would feel so loved that i would not be able to take anymore. Just someday before long...