Dying to Live - Part 2

Chapter 1

"Not guilty."

Two words. Two simple words shattered Harlan Allred's already fragile world to pieces. His psyche had always been delicate, but the events of a little over a year ago had ripped most the strength he had away. Over the past few months he had worked so hard to build it back up, to be the doctor he knew he could be and, most importantly, the father his kids deserved. He had felt better. More in control of himself and his happiness. Life was good, as good has he could remember it being.

Even as he sat through and testified at the trial of his former friend and boss, Barry Michaels, the much stronger walls he built up helped him withstand the lies that were spewed by Barry and his lawyers. Maybe it was because Harlan fully expected Barry to be found guilty of everything he had been accused.

Actually, he knew he would be. Knew it completely. Harlan had lived through it all. He had been a pawn in Barry's sick and twisted game to blackmail and torture anyone he could for power and personal gain.

Of course, that wasn't even close to the worst of Barry did or tried to do. Through Luke Masterson, Harlan's former favorite baseball player and man with a complicated past Harlan did not fully understand, Barry took advantage of Luke's greed, anger and mental illness to poison children at the children's hospital in Seattle where Harlan was a general surgeon. Ultimately, thanks to Harlan and so many others, Barry had been unsuccessful. But, it didn't matter. What Barry had done, what he had even thought to do, was as evil (and that was truly the best word for it) as anyone could be.

As awful as that was, it wasn't the end of it all. Harlan would never forget watching Barry murder two people right in front of him. The first, Luke, would forever haunt Harlan, but not like the second.

As Barry and Harlan stood face to face in that same Seattle hospital, Barry fired a bullet past Harlan's head and straight into the heart of Harlan's lifelong best friend, Cole Panunzio. It may well have been Harlan's heart, because a huge part of him died that day too. No matter how hard he tried, no mater how many walls he built up, he would never recover from holding Cole as he lay in pool his own blood. Dead. Because of him.

Harlan had always heard people say that time heals all wounds. That, he now knew, was garbage. This wound would just fester and stay open forever.

Harlan had thought, had hoped really, going into the trial, maybe seeing Barry get what he deserved would take away some of that sting. Hoped that hearing the verdict that Barry would be spending the rest of his life in a tiny cell with no chance of parole, would be the perfect end to a sad and pathetic life.

Hope, while one of the most important things to have, when it is dashed, can be the most destructive.

"Not guilty."

Harlan felt lightheaded when the jury's foreperson continued to say those two words after each count was read. It made no sense. All the evidence, all the absolute facts pointed in only one direction. Guilt. And, yet, she just kept saying not guilty.

He looked all around the courtroom to see the reaction. He looked into the face of the district attorney, Will Robbins. He looked at his nurse and close friend, Clara and his, he guessed one could call her girlfriend, Lucy. He even looked at the judge who had presided over the case with a fair, but firm hand. In each face he saw how he felt reflected on their faces. Shock and confusion. And fear, especially in the faces of those who like Harlan, had been personally victimized by Barry.

This nightmare, the one Harlan was sure he would finally wake up from, wasn't over. And, now, he wondered if it ever would be.