"I HATE IIIIIIT"
"Hm?" Hummed my best friend.
"I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.
I hate the way he makes me feel, this- this rage!
I can feel my heart beat faster, the blood rushing through my veins, my face getting redder, despite my skin being darker. It's a rage I've never felt before. It is rage, right?
I hate the names he calls me.
Whether they mean anything or not they still give me the most horrid feeling in my chest and he still teases me and when I turn away he laughs.
I hate having to even look at him.
I always see him first and when he notices me, I just know I'm in for another day of this hell.
I hate his presence.
Even if we haven't talked at all I still feel weird being next to him.
I hate the intimidation I feel!
It's this nervous mad mix when ever I'm close to him. It's the red face, it's the wanting to leave, but it's also sweaty palms, fidgety movements, and my fast beating heart, is it from the nervous or the mad side? And lord, help me and my heart when he gets close enough for me to feel his sleeve brush up on my shoulder.
I hate the things he does.
The constant poking my side to see me laugh much too loud, the horrible pick up lines, saying I'm cute to see me embarrassed and stuttery, that thing he does when he gets excited and he makes his mouth into an adorable small smile, he looks stupid... but he looks so cute. I swear I melt and my hearts skips a beat whenever he does it. Stupid! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!(this is a dangan-account you should've expected this)
I hate his voice!
It's annoying.
...
...
... It's soothing... I want more of it. My chest, there's a sweet feeling in my chest when he compliments me. His laugh makes me wanna laugh, but I never show it. Why would I? I don't like it. I don't think I do...
I hate his eyes!
There's nothing inherently wrong with his eyes. They're fine. Until he looks at me. Then our eyes lock and I can't look away. What did he just do? It's when he notices things that's the problem... I know he notices because he'll say something about it. I... I also think... it's almost... kinda... nice though...
I hate that he's always on my mind!
In my mind he's always in my daydreams. I remember the little moments we have, when he called me cute or noticed my hair changed somehow. Sometimes it's scenarios where we're together and it's just like we're the only two people in that world.
Do you know what I hate the most though?"
"And what could that be?"
"I like it!
And... and
I HATE THAT I LIKE IT!
My whacked out heart, the hiding my face, our interactions, the nervousness , the rage, his smile, his laugh, his voice, his flirting, the way he calls me pretty or cute, what he notices about me, seeing him, looking at him, being beside him, all of it! Why do I like this? It sounds inconvenient. It is inconvenient. I hate it. And I'm addicted."
She smirked which turned into a smile, then giggled "That isn't rage you're feeling."
"What?"
