Paradise of Imperfect Love 💘

EYE CONTACT

Eye contact...... for some people or can i say 'most people', feel anxious while they have an eye contact with someone , for some it's pleasure, and for some it's embarrassing.

Well for me, i think it's kinda all of them.

Well, I'm  the most conservative, anxious person in the entire class or maybe entire school. And I'm  saying this not b'coz I don't have self-esteem or something like that , I do have self-esteem but it's been like this since forever.
I've been in this school since kindergarten , every teacher knows me by my name, not because I'm  studious or notorious or something like that, it's  because they're always trying to make me outgoing, courageous and bla....bla....blaaaa.But every time they do this, they fail. Huuuuhhhhhhh(sighed)

But no student/ classmates other than Jake knows me ... I mean they know my name ( maybe some don't even know that)
I mean it's not that I haven't tried, it's just I'm not able to do it. My mom, Jake, counselors,  everyone tried with me but guess what ..... everyone failed.....

And now no one tries to make me do anything I don't want to.

In our class, we're 48 students and there're 3 rows..... in which I took the last seat in the 3rd row .well I would have been with Jake if it was not for his girlfriend's jealousy.
Without Jake,  it's going to be a tough year.

Our class teacher this year is, Mr. Ben Ackles , who happens to be my dad too...... which makes me more nervous for this year.
And here he enters.........

OMG........my dad is with DEAN, the person with whom i spoke today ..... i mean they were just two sentences but it's more than anything i ever had spoke to any of my classmates except Jake.

Mr Ben Ackles (DAD):
Goodmorning everyone,  meet your new classmate DEAN COOPER.
Dean, take your seat.

Dean: yes, Mr. Ackles. Thank you.

Me : What the f**k. He's in our class .....NOWAY......UGGGHHHH...
OHHH....NOOOO..... there are no seats in the front..... please someone leave your seat, make him sit somewhere in the front, it's his 1st f*****g day.
Ohhh.....i just realised, there's a seat just beside me...... no wonder I can see him coming towards me......Why...why....why....

I'm anxious not because he will be seated beside me...the whole day.
It's because he'll know how creepy, freaky, and embarrassing I  am... and then he'll never see me.

DEAN: hey, can I sit here.

ME: ummmm.... yeah sure.( looking up)

Wowwww.... this is the first time i ever had an eye contact with anyone so handsome. I want to look away , I'm all anxious, embarrassed and scared but i just don't wanna look away. I just want to stare him and that sounded really "CREEPY".