Haikyuu x Reader

Oikawa Tooru - Good Enough

He was always so collected, so put together for his team. He was a first-rate captain: talented, supportive, calculating to a scary degree. Oikawa Tooru had loved every second of it. He loved being there for his team, providing them with a much-needed laugh every now and again, leading them to victory game after game. But even the best things have to come to an end. Oikawa just didn't expect it to be so soon. He wanted to stand on that national court, even if it was just for a short moment. He wanted to keep playing, to keep joking with his teammates during breaks. He wanted to set again, even if it was just for one more play.

But, even if the ball had hit the court for the last time, he was still the captain for a little while longer. He was the corner-stone of his team, he had to hold it all together, one last time. The sniffles and tears that flowed down the faces of the other boys of the Seijoh volleyball team were an eerie contrast to the stoic view of the Grand King. He stood in line with the others, a blank stare on his face as he thanked everyone for coming to support them. A comforting hand was laid on Iwaizumi's shoulder as the boys turned to leave. And even still, Seijoh's greatest weapon showed no signs of weakness as he stepped off the gym floor for the last time in his high school career.

It left you speechless. You had been prepared to pepper his face in kisses and run your thumbs over his cheeks to wipe his tears away, but there was no sadness to be found in his expression. The bright smile on his face when he saw you standing out in the lobby seemed so out of place as he led the crying team to the bus. But, still, he opened his arms up to you, wrapping your body in his sweaty embrace.

"Thank you for coming."

And that was it. Oikawa placed a sweet kiss to your forehead, gently patting the top of your head before finding his place back amongst the other third years. His mouth was moving and then he threw his head back in a warm laugh, a desperate attempt to try to lighten the mood and bring smiles back to the faces of his friends. A swift punch to his shoulder from Iwaizumi and if it weren't for the glistening streaks of tears on the ace's face, it would've seemed like everything was back to normal. For a brief moment, it seemed like they all forgot that they had stepped off of the court together for the last time, just enjoying the simple pleasure of teasing their captain as all of the boys joined in. The Seijoh volleyball team smiled and laughed as the pout on Oikawa's lips grew by the minute. The laughs were quiet and their smiles were still saddened by damp eyes, but for a small blip in time, they seemed happy again.

He held it all together so well. He pushed that lump in his throat down and held all of those tears back, focusing on lightening the mood for those around him, but that "I'll catch up with you" as the other third years left the club room, the echo of the door shutting behind Iwaizumi ringing in his ears, was the catalyst to it all. No matter how hard he tried, there was no pushing the tears away any longer. They slipped from his eyes as easily as water flows through rivers. If only he had moved faster, if he had trained harder, if he had just been better he would still be on that court and he wouldn't be turning in his uniform yet.

The club room felt so empty with all of the third years' belongings stripped from their cubbies, the posters that Matsukawa and Hanimaki had hung up at the beginning of the year had now been taken down and stuffed into their bags. The labels that designated which lockers were theirs had been removed, the sticky residue being the only thing that gave any indication that they were even there in the first place. Everything was gone. There were no sneakers or practice clothes or extra phone chargers. Iwaizumi's speaker had finally been taken home and the familiar chatter and laughter was now only a faint memory, never to be heard again.

His fingers folded into a tight fist, nails digging into palms as his vision blurred. One . . . Two . . . Three heavy hits of his fist against a locker, each one getting slower, weaker, until there wasn't any force behind his sorrowful attacks. A choked sob escapes his lips, his hand slipping down that cool metal of the locker door to fall limply back to his side.

Oikawa didn't even hear the door open. He didn't hear anyone come in, but maybe he was so lost in his own wallows of self-pity that he had blocked it all out. Even still, your hand on his back had made him jump, quickly running his forearm over his eyes to wipe all of the tears away, to pretend that everything was absolutely fine, as if he hadn't just poured all of his emotions out against this poor innocent locker that had been so good to him for three years. "I'm sorry," he murmured, but even still, Tooru manages a small laugh. "This wasn't exactly how I thought you'd see me today."

Your arms simply wrap around his torso, no words passed back to him. For whatever reason, your comforting embrace and the hand tangled into his hair that brought his head down to your shoulder brought a new wave of misery over the setter that had always tried his hardest to be the best for everyone around him. You could feel his stature shake as new tears streamed down his cheeks in heavy cascades, muffled sobs pressed against your shoulder, hands gripped the hem of your shirt, a physical reminder that you were right there, that you weren't going anywhere.

"I'm so sorry."

Oikawa Tooru was not a pretty crier, a drastic difference from the boy who always had his hair perfectly styled and whose smile could have an entire auditorium swooning in front of him. But, when he cried, his face turned all sorts of shades of red, snot dribbling from his nose no matter how much he tried to sniff it away, the most wracked sounds of sorrow that you've ever heard leaving his mouth so freely. He would cling onto you like a child every single time that he let his walls crumble, taking comfort in your embrace, in your soothing words as you petted his hair until all of those heavy sobs turned into quiet whimpers and hiccups.

"I'm sorry that I'm not good enough."

The hand that had been combing through brown locks stills and before he can say another word, you're pulling him away from you, tapping his chin so he would lift his face to you. "Who ever said that you weren't good enough, Tooru?"

"I couldn't do it. I failed all over again. I should've trained harder or- or practiced longer." His voice is barely above a whisper and if you didn't see his mouth move, you would be convinced that he didn't speak at all. Your boyfriend made an effort to pull you back towards him, tried to get you to wrap your arms back around him, but you held your ground, stood firm in front of him with no signs of taking him back into your hold.

"If you had worked any harder, you would've hurt your knee again and then you wouldn't have even been able to play. Tooru, you did everything that you could and I am so, so proud of you. I can't remember that last time that I've seen you play so well. It was like watching a whole different you." You pause, a small smile gracing your lips as you take his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. "You will always be good enough. Even if everyone in the world is screaming at you to quit, you always kept pushing forward and you wouldn't be the man you are if you didn't. You are not a failure or a loser. You are Oikawa Tooru, the best goddamn setter that I have ever seen, the best boyfriend that anyone could ever ask for, the worst baker in the world, but an expert taste-tester," you tease, watching your boyfriend smile shyly at your words. "But more than all of that, you are more than good enough and I promise that I will always be here to remind you of that, okay?"

"Geez, you really are too good to me, aren't you, baby doll?"

"Only sometimes." You wrap an arm around his waist, leaning up to place a kiss to his lips, reassurance in each slow movement of your lips against his, taking in how his saddened features seemed to brighten ever so slightly as you pulled away from him. "Now, come on, we should probably get you home so you can rest your knee."

"You'll stay over, right?" He asks, brown eyes pleading down at you, his lower lip jutted out in a cute pout.

"Only if I can pick the movie."

"Fine, but we are not watching another one of your sad dog movies."

You smile sweetly, patting his chest. "I can promise you a lot of things, Tooru, but that is not one of them."