attraction , eren jaeger ✓

thirty nine

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↬ DAYS PASSED AND ALL YOU COULD DO WAS THINK ABOUT EREN, he was the only person that occupied your mind. no matter how hard you tried to forget, he just never seem to leave— even after you were the one who didn't want him to remember.

parts of you were surrounded with so much regret, so much desire for him to remember without effort, yet the other parts of you felt like this was for the best. the best for him.

you don't want him risking his life just to be with you, he doesn't deserve to go through that. he's such a sweet man, a man who anyone could fall in love with. he'll find someone— someone new, someone who isn't stuck in an arranged toxic marriage.

but you would put your life through hell just so that eren could live in a better one.

all of his love, affection, his attraction for you, is now gone anyway.

you both were going your separate ways now. he was leaving to new york and possibly never coming back unless for family reasons. and you were going to be remained forgotten for the rest of his life.

it was a few days after your discharge from the hospital, a week or so since the whole incident. you didn't know, you lost track. but you still remember the event, it repeats over and over in your mind until you're drowned into it, unable to reach back to the top and away from it.

you just knew that you weren't going to forget eren for a very long time.

it was the day of your engagement party. everyone already knew you and reiner were going to be married, yet an engagement party full of close family friends and relatives didn't seem to be such a terrible idea either.

you had to be the perfect family, at least— be viewed as one.

you were in your room, feeling even more isolated as sets of gorgeous dressed picked by reiner were displayed in front of you. no matter how expensive or lavish these clothings were, you felt absolutely disgusted and you didn't want to wear any of them.

you had dismissed the maids that were supposed to aid you on dressing into one of the garments, leaving you alone in the room to tend to yourself, but you wanted to be alone most of the time.

nothing seemed to cheer you up— not even your favorite food, your favorite activity, absolutely nothing motivated you to smile.

just then, you heard a gentle knock on the door. you assumed it was your mother and faintly allowed her in as you seated yourself on the bed. you watched as the door slid open and in the doorway, stood reiner.

"oh," was all you mustered out as you turned away, hiding the scowl that now plasters on your face. you didn't utter anything else as reiner enters the room and shuts the door behind him.