Blood is Thinner Than Water

Voice Recording 1 - 10/14/2019 8:14 PM

My life is in danger.

I mean, my life IS danger!

When you're the niece of an uncle who works for "The Big M", as my boyfriend would say it - I mean, to those of you who know or are going through the same thing I'm going through, I feel for you - so many conflicted feelings that I can't fully describe in words...

I guess, if anything, I'll start from the beginning. I think I have time before I have to continue fleeing for my life.

....

My parents disappeared when I was about to turn 12 years old. I shouldn't be telling you what happened, but you know what? I'm going to be dead soon anyway so...here it goes. Please be patient with me as this is the first time I am pouring out of my chest all of my feelings and stories that I have kept harbored inside of me for years.

To begin, my dad was also involved with the big Irish "M". Pretty much since before I was born. I wasn't supposed to know this because it would only lead me into trouble...more trouble than I already am in now.

Over time, my father got more involved. Something about paying a debt to one of the other members from long ago, and before you know it, he got incarcerated after an informer in the same gang ratted him out to the Feds. It was not long after that my mother got shot on her way to the grocery store.

I remember the last time I had ever seen the both of them together. It was an otherwise uneventful night. They seemed so nervous and always having quiet conversations in the living room whenever I wasn't around and they did not think I would be listening. Of course I did or at least tried to, but my house was always open with no corners or walls to hide behind if you wanted to eavesdrop on somebody.

I even remember watching my dad get taken away by the cops in front of me after a loud knock on the door. All the shit that happened in between the knock and the arrest I hid upstairs for so I couldn't tell you exactly how it all went down.  I slowly crept downstairs after hearing the sound of cuffs, and watched my father get walked out with his head hung low and my mother watching silently by the door.

Come to think of it, maybe my mother was the one who snitched. Did she even know what he was being taken away for? She did seem rather calm at the kitchen table when she was talking to the copper that night. Not at all panicked or shocked.

I think she knew that she was gonna be killed too, because the last time I ever saw her only a few days later, she gave me a big hug...rather huge for someone who was only gonna be gone for a couple of hours to go shopping. She had then taken one look at me with her big blue eyes, tears in her eye ducts, and without another word, she was gone. At the time, I thought nothing of it. It's always interesting what hindsight can do to you.

I was on my own for a little while after my mother's death, but not completely on my own. With my dad in jail, and no other surviving family members sans my uncle, who was I going to be given to?

At the time, my uncle was 23. Just five years into his adulthood and he had to take custody of his niece who was not even in her teens. You would think that he would have resented me. At that point he would have to adjust his life begrudgingly. If he wanted to he would have dumped me off at the nearest orphanage and let somebody else deal with me.

That is where you would be wrong.

My Uncle Jake knew me from the moment I was born believe it or not. He was even there when my mother gave birth to me apparently. He was close to my father since he had no father to turn to after his own passed away due to unforeseen circumstances when he was a child himself. He would always come over after he would be done with school, play with me, even watch after me if my parents had to step out for whatever reason. He loved me as if I was a little sister to him. And that carried over throughout my first 12 years of life.

I forged a strong bond with him as well and I could not wait to see him every chance that I could. He would take me out for ice cream, go to the beach, the movies, you named it. And if I needed a babysitter for the night? He would be the one to call always. My parents were lucky to depend on him and I was lucky too.

Naturally, Uncle Jake was the obvious choice of family to care for me.

After taking me in, he was already living on his own, had his own house and had a job to support himself. He sheltered me from day one. Not that I minded of course. Look what happened to the rest of his family thus far.

Everywhere I would go, I would have to call or text him letting him know where I was going and where I was at. If he had some sort of work and had to leave me alone at the house, he would lock the house down so no one could even step foot on the driveway without getting an alert on his phone. If I tried to leave the house, which I only tried once and got a good long punishment for, he would know.

It was a nice expensive house too. How do I know how expensive it was? I should not say, but what I will say is that I became aware of what kind of job he had and how he was able to afford all the nice things so easily. Since he kept it so underwraps from me, I started to pinpoint when I could all the little hints I learned from years living with my dad.

The secret meetings, the sudden absences or departures with no explanation, and if there was an explanation it would be something elaborate that I could not even picture my introverted Uncle doing, and every Friday night he would go for a "bowling night", bringing a large duffel bag that looked too bulky to have just clothes in it.

The one day of the week that I know he would not be at work would be Sundays, because from the very beginning he would spend the whole day with me doing whatever it is that I would want to do.

I realize this background story is a little longer than I expected so I will try to cut to the chase here.

Once I was over 18, I started to gain a little more independence - as much as I was allowed anyway. Because even though I was an adult, I was still living with my uncle and had to abide by his rules. So, that means that whenever a boy would come over for a date, he would have a whole questionaire prepared and treated the kitchen table and lamp overhead as if it was an interrogation room. I was still grateful though, and I thanked him for taking care of me when he technically did not have to anymore now that I was of legal age.

Every birthday, especially for my 16th, 18th, and 21st birthdays, he would throw me an extravagant party with a big band for music and loads of friends and gifts that I could have ever asked for. For my high school and college graduations he took me out to fancy establishments with pools in the back as we did not have our own, seeing as how they are a lot of work to maintain, according to my uncle.

When I opened my first restaurant, he was even right there alongside me for that. That first grand opening was the most important and biggest day of my life as my entire college education and previous work experiences have led me to that day. And considering that I was only 21 and starting my own business, I was doing pretty good for someone of my age, and I have my uncle to thank for that.

Little did I know that the restaurant would be both a blessing and a curse.