Blood is Thinner Than Water

Voice Recording 6 - 10/15/2019 9:05 AM

Okay, I think I'm ready.

....

That next morning, I had most of my stuff packed. I had a boat load of stuff from years of being spoiled.

The last box I packed and loaded into the car was filled with photo albums - mostly consisting of my uncle and me of course. I flipped through a couple of pages and saw pictures of both my high school and college graduation, both graduation parties, my sweet 16, some of my birthday parties, christmas, and a few general ones.

There was one that my uncle has a copy of in his wallet. It has my 8 year old self looking at a butterfly as he looked down at me and smiled, holding me in his arms.

Just like that. Those moments and our relationship...gone.

I shed another tear, folded up the picture and put it in my shirt pocket.

Right now as I am recording this, I am holding this exact photo. How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so stupid and gullible? If it wasn't for me or for me needing him to take me in after my parents' deaths, he would not have been in this situation.

I remember even thinking that exact thought as I was looking back at the house, going down the front steps for the last time. The house that I lived in for the past 12 years of my life, held so many cherished memories for me. I had more pleasant memories here than I did anywhere. And to think that I had no idea that this house is standing and existing through...illegal means.

I had started going towards the car, when my uncle suddenly pulls up into the driveway. Thinking he did not want to be bothered, I opened the driver's side door and was halfway in the car ready to leave when he called my name.

All I did was look up as he stepped out of the car, and walked towards me. He was wearing his usual Sunday casual outfit of  sweater and a baseball cap. He must have been out with his buddies.

Doing what? I have no idea and I couldn't have cared less at that point.

What came out of his mouth surprised me. He was almost completely calm.

"I'm sorry about last night. It was out of line how I acted..."

I could not think of a proper response. To be honest, I did not want to even see him as I am still hurting from last night. Bruises from my arms and where he slapped me are clearly visible on my otherwise pale skin. I saw him glance down at them too. He reached for me and for the first time ever, I flinched away from him, shrinking more into the car.

"No, no, no Marleen. I'm not going to hurt you," Jake said in an almost coddling way as if I was a little girl again. "I promise. Please..."

It took me a few seconds to gather the will to allow his hands to touch my arms and view my bruises.

"Did I really do this?" He seemed rather upset.

It took me a minute to realize I had not said one word to him at all yet.

"Marleen...I know you're angry with me...what can I do to make it up to you?"

Suddenly, I did not feel so angry anymore. I still don't know what it was that made me change my attitude towards him. Maybe it was his pleading eyes, my seemingly unbreakable trust in him, or knowing that it was Sunday, our day of the week to go out and do something together.

I gently reminded him about what day of the week it was, and after we hugged it out for a brief moment, I had that sense that things might return to normal between us.

After accepting his apology, we both walked to his car to go out for ice cream. As soon as I got in and buckled in, he said,

"I have to make a stop on our way back, okay?"

Something about his tone, or the way he said that line seemed off. I started feeling uneasy again, but quickly brushed it away thinking that we had made up and we would be on our to having a normal Sunday.

We arrived at our favorite ice cream shack outside of town and ordered our usual flavors - mine chocolate chip mint and his buttercup swirl. We sat down at our usual bench outside the edge of the woods surrounding the shack, overlooking the creek. I always loved that place as a kid, and we would always have a great time, even dipping our feet into the water if the weather was warm enough. The early autumn wind and colored leaves indicated that that day was not one of those days.

Usually we would have lengthy conversations too while sitting down and enjoying our cones, but that day we were both rather quiet. Probably because there was still tension from the night before between us. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think that he smiled once since we left the house. Even when we got in the car, he did not put on our favorite rock song as per routine.

After I finished my cone, I tried to break the ice by giving Jake a tiny attempt of a smile. He returned it but just briefly. Too briefly for my liking. The rest of the time he stared ahead unemotionally.

Little did I know that that would be the last smile I might ever see on his face again.

"We have to go," was all he said to me towards the end of our treat.

I slowly followed him back to the car. I saw him go to the trunk, fiddle with something, and heard a small cry. I looked around me, but nobody else was around except for Jake and me. Thinking nothing of it, I got in the car. When he got in the car I noticed that his eyes were wet.

Was my uncle crying? Jake never cried. At least not around me. The only other time I saw him close to crying was when I fell and broke my arm after climbing a tree out in the backyard years ago. This was right around the time he first started looking after me, and he was hysterical until we got to the hospital and the doctors patched me up. He was so relieved that it wasn't more serious as I was fragile as a kid.

After that I stopped climbing trees.

We drove along the highway, heading towards a part of Massachusetts I had never been to before. The buildings and signs of civilization were growing sparse the further away from home we got.

A terrible foreboding gut feeling grew in my stomach with each passing mile.

I watched Jake wipe his eyes numerous times during our drive. I tried to make conversation with him, asking him if he wanted a tissue. He replied very short with a simple 'no'.

Another one of our favorite songs came on the radio, a slower rock ballad.

Jake would not look at me for the entire ride. I was thinking that something bad was coming my way.

Sure enough, I was right.

Before long, we entered a town called Hellatia. Well, we passed a sign for it. We technically did not enter any town. All around us were trees and woods. That ride was feeling like it was taking forever to get to our destination.

The woods got thicker, my stomach clenching even tighter. The moment that my uncle veered sharply onto an unmarked gravel road into even thicker woods with no people, the open area behind me growing smaller, I finally put two and two together.

This stop was going to be my last stop ever.