𝕛𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕠𝕝 - oneshots

Lie to my face

Jeonghan stood frozen in the middle of the living room.

he was unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to think, as he kept looking down at his shoes.

Guilt eating him up.

"I-I can't believe it." "It happened just one time-" "It still happened Jeonghan!"

He gulped. He had never seen his boyfriend so mad before. He had seen him hurt, upset, but never boiling with anger. In four long years Seungcheol never yelled at him, but this time he was yelling, really loud, but how could he blame him, the man deserved to get angry.

He heard Seungcheol take a shaky breath as he started to walk around in the room. The silence made him hesitantly raise his gaze, only to meet the view of his boyfriend biting the nail of his thumb. He saw him take another deep breath.

"When did this even happen?" He asked, bringing a hand to massage his forehead, he was starting to feel sick. Jeonghan gulped "A couple moths ago, you were out of town for work, and I had this conference, we drank and he-" a sob chocked his words, the tears filling his eyes, making his vision blurred. Seungcheol bit his bottom lip. He wanted to go there and wipe those tears off his boyfriend's pretty face, but at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to go too near to him. He felt like Jeonghan was a stranger, his Jeonghan would had never cheated on him.

Every time he met his fragile figure he felt deep pain all over his body, it hurt for real. It hurt knowing that the person who swore he loved him everyday for the past years, didn't love him enough to say no to someone else. Because that is what happened, from Seungcheol's perspective.

"I never even thought of sleeping with someone that is not you Jeonghan, and I was sure it was the same for you, but apparently I was wrong." he said, feeling his own tears start to wet his cheeks too. Now the two men were both quietly crying, one in front of the other, but far from each other, miles away. They had never felt so distant, not even when they were physically far from one another. "I love you more than you could ever imagine, but I wasn't ready to know this. I didn't want to know, because now I can't think about anything else." he continued, wiping his tears away, but they still kept flowing out. He couldn't stand being in the same room as the other anymore, he felt the oxygen fail to reach his lungs.

"I'll go sleep at Mingyu's place for tonight" "No-" "Yes. I-i can't stay here. Its better like this, for both of us..." Jeonghan felt his heart crack, hearing those words. He couldn't believe that the most important person in his life was leaving. How could he keep living without Seungcheol by his side, constantly breathing the same air as him, sleeping in the same bed, sharing their evenings and mornings. How could he wake up every morning knowing that his lover wasn't already up, waiting for him only to kiss him and wish him a good day. How could he survive without his boyfriend's attentiveness, always making sure he took care of himself and not overwork like he always tends to do.

"I'll pack a few clothes and come back tomorrow to grab the rest" The older said before heading toward their shared bedroom.

Jeonghan still wasn't ready to address it as his.

He hated himself. He got himself in this mess, he should had expected to be forced to face consequences, sooner or later. He just wished it was gonna be later.

That night was a stupid weakness, a mistake. He never felt anything towards that man other than physical desire, and during that period, Seungcheol was rarely at home, they hadn't seen each other for a month or more, and Jeonghan just managed to have a new work, and he was stressed. Even bit of his life was stressful.

That's why he had given in to his coworker's attentions.

Seungcheol disappeared inside the bedroom, but he didn't have the courage to actually move his everyday life far from Jeonghan. He sat on the bed, and started crying again, burying his face in the palm of his hands. He trusted him. He trusted him since the first moment they met, their first kiss, their first time, when they bought the house together. Seungcheol was ready to trust Jeonghan for the rest of his life.

He was about to get up again, he had to leave as soon as possible, it was too much pain to endure, when suddenly he felt the mattress move and the heat of a body next to him. their thighs were touching, but Seungcheol couldn't help but to move away.

"I'm sorry. I know you're mad." Jeonghan started talking. His voice was sore from all the sobs. Seungcheol looked at him, with a bit of uncertainty, but thankfully the other's eyes were stuck on the ground, giving him the green light to gaze over his wet cheeks, and puffy eyes, as well as his red hair tied in a tiny tiny ponytail. He couldn't help but admit to himself how beautiful this man looked every second of his existence.

"You have all the rights to be mad, for real, I agree with you." Jeonghan bitterly chuckled "Yes, I made a mistake, but I swear to god that nothing of my feelings towards you changed, just wanted you to know. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please don't leave tonight" He said, sucking his teeth and turning to him. Seungcheol didn't know how to feel anymore at this point. "Lie, Cheol. Just for tonight, lie to my face." the raven haired frowned, trying to figure out what the other meant by that "what?" "I know you probably hate me right now, but I can't get get my heart broken tonight. I can't. Let's fake it, let's pretend everything is like usual." the redhead moved his delicate hand to the other's face, cupping his cheek; he was eager for touch. Seungcheol didn't know why but he found himself nodding.

They glimpsed at one another's features in the dark of their bedroom. The atmosphere, mixed with the pain and the stress they had just gone through, brought both of them to move closer to each other, close enough to feel their breaths mix. Seungcheol couldn't help it and closed his eyes, submitting to the feeling nothing could erase. Jeonghan leaned in, greedily wrapping his arms around the other's neck, smashing his lips on his. They both melted on the spot. Seungcheol placed his hands on his waist pulling him even closer as he reciprocated the kiss, hungry and enraged at the same time. Jeonghan was the first to pull away in need of air, he was crying again. He rested his forehead on his boyfriend's broad chest, sobbing even herder when he felt his strong arms embrace him in a tight hug.

"Jeonghan" he whispered "You said you wanted to fake it just for tonight, to act like nothing happened, so let's try, hm? No more tears for tonight Mr. Yoon." he cupped his cheeks and pressed a kiss on his head, moving a tuft of hair to be sure to meet his skin. "Let's go to sleep, come on. Tomorrow this nightmare will be over for both of us."

They both got out of their clothes, now only wearing their underwear, like they did every night, they liked the feeling of their skins colliding under the bed sheets.

Jeonghan was the first one to lay down, Seungcheol followed suit. It took only a few seconds until the younger moved closer to the other man's body, burying his face in the crook of his neck. The latter shivered at the sensation, a sensation he wondered if he would ever feel again. He wished, but at the same time he knew it would have felt cold, wrong, forced.

A few minutes passed in complete silence, and Seungcheol was about to drift into sleep, when suddenly he felt a feeble whisper next to his ear.

"Cheol, I love this, us, you. I wish we could stay like this forever."

He didn't say anything in return. he just kissed the man's head again, for longer this time.

In 26 years of his life, this was the first time for him to make such an important choice, and he didn't have a clue on what the right thing to do was.

The only thing he knew was that he had loved, loved in that moment and will had forever loved Yoon Jeonghan, no matter how much pain it caused him, but

was he ready to bare this pain, only for the sake of love?