Sugar and Spice

chapter 22

Theo paced in front of the bathroom door, hands gripping his hair at the root and pulling.

Draco had locked himself in the bathroom, silent for the last twenty minutes. Theo had said he needed space, needed a few minutes to pull himself together, but twenty minutes was about ten minutes longer than she'd have given him. Fifteen, if she was being honest. Fine, her first inclination had been to rush after him as soon as he'd shut the door. Her restraint at this point was nothing short of miraculous.

"Theo," she whispered. He glanced up, pausing his pacing. "Come here. Please."

She patted the bed beside her when he cocked his head, looking reluctant to leave his post. After a moment, he crossed the room and took a seat next to her, his whole body stiff.

"He just needs a few more minutes," he muttered, but it didn't even sound like he believed the words.

The inside flesh of her cheek would be raw soon if she didn't quit biting it. "Is that what he told you, that he needs time?"

Not now, not this occurrence, but maybe he'd said it before.

Theo shrugged tightly. "He gets like this sometimes, you know that. He needs to process."

Not the answer to her question.

"He doesn't like to talk about this, his father. I'm not saying we haven't, trust me, we have, but..." Theo pinched the bridge of his nose. "There's nothing I can do when he gets like this, Hermione."

Oh. She went very still, her brain whirring in overdrive.

There were two separate issues at play, two intertwining issues, but not one in the same. Maybe Theo was too close to see the situation for what it was.

"I don't think Draco needs space," she whispered. "I think that might be the last thing he needs right now."

Theo looked like he was going to argue, but she shook her head.

"Think about it," she said. "Draco's always had to be stoic and cool, especially during the past few years. He had to lock down his emotions, secret them away, you said so yourself."

Theo nodded.

"I think what he needs is to know it's okay to be vulnerable. That he doesn't have to be strong all the time, especially not with us." She took a deep breath, bracing for Theo's reaction to what she had to say next. "Draco's always needed to be strong and you...you never really had the opportunity."

How could he have, when for so long he'd been subject to the brutality of his father? Survival was a strength unto itself, yes, but he'd never been able to come into his own, exhibit control. No wonder he craved it, needed it now. And he was so good at it, so strong, stronger than he knew.

Theo shook his head, jaw clenching. "There's nothing I can do."

"But there is," she argued. "Draco needs to know he can lean on you, that's it. Just be there for him. That's what you can do. He needs to know being vulnerable doesn't make him weak and even if it did, there's nothing wrong with it. You can give him that. You've done it before, picked up the pieces and put him back together."

Theo huffed. "What, when he and I first fucked?" He shook his head, self-deprecation coloring his words. "Oh yes, I'm great for that. Strong in the sack. Bloody perfect."

"Stop it." She grabbed his arm, tugged until he looked at her. Her chest panged at the torment darkening his eyes. He and Draco were both torturing themselves and they didn't need to. "It's so much more than that, and you know it. It's not just the sex, Theo, and even when it is I don't think you have any idea what's it like. I'm never not thinking, you know, and sometimes it's like my thoughts are in overdrive. Maybe it's because...after everything, after needing to think a mile a minute, I don't know how to slow down. When you tell me what to do, when you take control, I don't have to worry, not about anything. Do you know what a gift that is? You make me feel safe. I always feel safe when I'm with you. I have a feeling it's the same with Draco, he just needs to know it's okay for him to let go."