To drown in regret

We started off in the wrong foot. We literally hated each other. We would clash the moment we see each other on the street.

I believed that we would never ever get along. Not in this lifetime or the next. However, things changed and I was proven wrong.

He... Saved me. He, of all people, saved me. I was suffering from Qi deviation at a cave when I was cultivating on closed doors.

He could have just ignored me. Hell, It would not be that far from his personality to actually murder me while I was at my most vulnerable state but he didn't.

He saved me. He even told me that he was 'enlightened' to change and other nonsense. At first, I believed that he had some ulterior motive. I wanted to believe that.

I wanted to since it was the most logical thing to believe. We literally hated each other's existence then out of nowhere, he wants to make friends?

Nonetheless, I owed him one and I had to repay him and repay him, I did. (A/N: you, Master Yoda, Is that?)

He got himself poisoned by Without a Cure on the very same day. He threw himself out to protect a nameless disciple of his. I channeled my qi to him ever since then because Sect Leader told me to.

That was my belief at first. Everything went to a turning point when we went to fight a group of succubus' to save whatever his name was.

Madame Meiyin, the lady in charge of those group of demons, did a reading on Shen Qingqiu.

She talked about his love life. She stuttered, “Uhm… …the other party is younger than you. Their seniority, or should I say experiences… …are not comparable to yours.”

“Your first meeting was unpleasant, you might have disliked each other, even. However, a crucial event happened, which turned your relationship around.”

“This person is always by your side. You have saved each other’s lives.”

“Your destined one, Immortal Master, rarely pays attention to those around him. However, once they come to care about someone, they do it wholeheartedly without any reservations.”

“A beauty second to none.”

“Exceptional potential, powerful spiritual energy, they came from a distinguished household and descended from a noble bloodline.”

I just know it. She was describing me. It can't possibly be anybody else but me. It has to be me. Everything she said confirms it.

“They might part for a short time, but they’ll meet again quickly. Also, the other party’s the one who keeps chasing.”

She gave a warning. I didn't have the mind to notice it at the time. I should have noticed it....

“I’m envious. Did you know, Immortal Master? This person is staggeringly devoted to you"

I didn't believe her at the time. I knew she was describing me. I didn't want to accept it. I should have accepted my feelings and told him earlier.

Because if I did, things might have been different......

He might have not died.....

Madame Meiyin's prediction came true after a short while.

His disciple Luo Binghe returned. He didn't tell why he didn't return to the sect despite being alive.

I didn't know what truly happened that day.

I rushed to the place. Only to find Shen Qingqiu's corpse. He self-destructed. He killed himself for an ingrate of a disciple.

Truly it hurts. Looking at his lifeless body. I should have been there. If I was there, he might still be alive.

That ingrate however, won't even let him rest in piece. He took his corpse and did god knows what to it.

I fought with him for 5 years. With no regards for my injuries, I kept fighting. I have to take his corpse back to the sect so we can hold a decent burial for him.

A part of me wants to do it so I can kill Luo Binghe. That bastard killed his own Shizun and would not even let his corpse be buried. He would say insane things like he can save him.

HE IS ALREADY DEAD.

Or at least that's what i thought.

He showed himself again. He was alive. I felt hurt and betrayed. He lived while we grieved over his death and went through great pains to retrieve his corpse.

However, my feelings of relief and happiness overshadowed it all. My beloved was alive. He is living.

It was too late for me to protect him though.
He chose to be with Luo Binghe that bastard so as to stop him from his madness.

They even got married and consumated it.

I was too late. I should have confessed my feelings for him a long time ago. We could have prevented this all. That woman's prediction might have been true. It might have been me who is destined to be with Shen Qingqiu but I took too long and Luo Binghe became that destined man.

I overheard a couple elderly men talking in a pub once. They mentioned that the red string of fate could be cut or placed on someone else. It could have been you who is destined to be with that person but you might have done something to cut that tie or replace it to others.

It is all too late however. I can only wish him happiness with his husband. I have nothing else left to do with my actions in the past. Except to drown in regret.......
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A/N: I cried while writing this. Why did I do this to Liu-shidi? I am in spain without the s.