Dirty Work

Chapter 6

Okay, I first wanted to start this chapter by saying I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. I've been struggling with motivation lately and haven't been writing at all. Lately I've been getting a lot of good ideas for this story and starting to get exited to wright it again.

It feels really good to get back into the swing of things and keep going with this story. I have really good ideas for how the rest of the story is going to go and I'm really exited for you guys to read it.

Just a heads up for the future, history might repeat itself and I might find myself losing motivation again. It really helps me when people interact with my story. It just shows me that people are enjoying reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it.

Once again I am sorry for leaving you guys in the blue for so long without any updates. Thank you for being patient and sticking around. It means more than you think. Thank you for reading my book  and I hope you enjoy it <3

**The song above is the song Niall plays in the car in case you want to listen to it ;)

Adrenaline is only temporary. It comes and goes like a flick of a switch. Something can trigger the rush and moments later it's gone. The lights are out. You're in the dark.

I'm in the dark.

I am completely blind. I have no answers. I am driving myself crazy with the way my thoughts are flowing right now.

I wish I was still on my adrenaline high so the questions would suffice. I can't think right now. My mind is going to places that it needs to stay out of.

After last night, I've done nothing. I've been useless. I haven't moved a muscle off my bed, eyes mindlessly wondering about my room. It's like my body won't let me move. My brain is telling me that the second I leave the barrier of my blankets, I will be in danger. I hate to say it, but I'm scared. I don't get scared easily but after last night, I'm not as calm as I would like to be.

Not to mention Zayn left me in the blue. He said we would get to talk later but I have no idea when later really is. I know he doesn't like to talk about the gangs around me because he doesn't think it's safe and he doesn't want me involved, but now I am. As far as I know, those suited men were after me, which now makes me involved, wether I want to be or not.

I previously thought about this life and the thrill that it would bring, but now that I've dipped my toes in it, I realized how cold the water is. I'm not sure if I want to dive right in yet. I'm not completely terrified of this illegal life, but it doesn't have that magnetic pull about it that it had a couple of days ago.

I haven't talked to Zayn since last night before I drove back home. I was hesitant of being alone for the night but everywhere those guys go seems to attract danger and I'm not looking to die just yet. I needed to be in the comfort of my own home. The hotel that they are staying at for the time being isn't too far away so if anything were to happen, all I would have to do is call and Zayn would be here in ten minutes.

I want to call Zayn but I don't know what to say or ask. I need answers but I don't know if I want them. I feel this new tinge of heaviness on my shoulders now that I've tasted a small sample of what Zayn and the other guys do. I feel almost a sense of guilt or worry for knowing. Like somebody will find me because they sense that I know what goes down.

I wonder how I would feel right now if I never walked in on those guys days ago. If I would've waited just a little while longer for Zayn to be done with the meeting and come party with me. I would probably be up and out of bed and headed down to the tattoo shop right now if I was still clueless. I wouldn't have a care in the world wether or not I was alone.