Kiribaku, Bakugo's diary

Fuuuuuuuckk

Day 12 Thursday
I said I wouldn't write in this piece of shit anymore but fuck it. This is the only thing that doesn't shout back when I scream at it.

I woke up and Kirishima wasn't with me. The bastard had gone without me. I wouldn't have gone with him anyway because it turns out that he was with those idiots he calls friends. Because I'm a fucking human and make mistakes, I went to look for him. They were at the springs. I didn't even know there were springs but they had gotten permission to be there. I was there anyway so I thought that I may as well get in with them. I wasn't persuaded by Kirishima. Mina had gone somewhere with Jioru so it was just "the boys". I fucking hate being called one of "the boys" it makes me sound like a fucking imbecile that hangs out with them. I don't hang out with them, I'm within close range of them. The human charger has called us that too many times and every time he says it, my urge to punch him grows.

I don't remember shit we talked about. Something about quirks. Eijirou put his arm over my shoulder We were in a hot pool, naked and he put his arm around my shoulders I didn't know if I was blushing a lot or just hot. It's hard to tell when you have his fucking hand around you. Oh my god I think he noticed me. Not like, "oh you're there" but like, "are you blushing?" No, he wouldn't have. He isn't the observant type.

Does this diary shit work like a "tell all of your thoughts". Why am I writing my questions down. Fuck it.

Because of the hero training and the type of quirk Sharkie has, he has been working out a lot more than before. When we were in that moment, I wanted to lean into him and Shit, HE'S TOO HOT. I just want him to We are both over the age of consent. That will forever be in my search history. Yes I don't know how to clear it, I don't give a shit, I was curios.                         I don't know how I'm going to tell him. How do people normally confess? Well I'm not normal so thinking of that won't work.

What if he doesn't like me? Could I just play it off as a joke? Would having a relationship effect my reputation? Would he think that I'm weird for playing a "prank" like that on him?

When we got out of the springs I heard dunce face teasing Eijirou about something. Getting dressed, he seamed defensive towards the charger, probably about him saying "he isn't manly". Fuck me, he hasn't even met himself. He looks like he could lift me up with one hand.                      Not like that               I mean

After we got ready for the actual training to begin. Me and him       He put his arm around me again and we walked towards where we were supposed to meet Mr Aisawa. We got put into pairs and I was unlucky enough to be paired with Deku, the fucking bastard. Apparently we need to "work on our relationship more" The fucking nerd is the problem not me. Throughout the training we had to use team work.              I tried, I know, impressive. I can't stand his fucking guts but I have learned that he can be quite useful at analysing and making plans. I've been lectured about this whole, "heros work better if they act like a team" for the entirety of the time I have been at this school. 

I asked him, "so whats the plan?" Because I tried it ok. THE FUCKING PIN HEAD LOOKED FUCKING TERRIFIED! What do you do in that situation!? I didn't know what to do so I just stared at him really confused. The whole class was watching us too. I felt kind of nervous. THIS IS WHY I DON'T TALK TO THAT IDIOT! I ended up looking towards the class and seeing Kirishima, he was staring at me weirdly. I almost cried, then and there. I couldn't stand it, I ended up just. I hit the stupid broccoli and started walking towards the target. I could feel the class staring at me. I just, I kicked the stupid robots ass and left. The nerd was still on the floor when I had finished and I just ran out of that stupid terrain. There were still more targets but I didn't give a shit.

I felt awful and I found a hidden spot and just cried. I threw my gauntlets somewhere, I didn't give a shit where they went. I felt weird, like, everyone was      Judging me. I had almost stopped crying when Kirishima found me. He was holding my gauntlets. I didn't want him to see me like that. I didn't want to see anyone, but especially not him. I think he saw me crying. He put the gauntlets down next to me kneeled down and hugged me. He didn't say anything but I hugged him back. I don't know how much time went by until he broke the hug. He put his hand on my cheek and just smiled his stupid big smile, he wiped my tears with his thumb and I don't know what I was doing but he made me smile. That was the best thing that
happened to me. I could have kissed him     All I had to do was lean forward but, he stood up and held out his hand. "Come on man,"               I pulled my shit together and took his hand. That is the first and only time I ever try to be friendly to anyone. Never doing it again.

After that, I tried to be alone for the rest of our training but I'm glad that Eiji stuck around with me. He made me feel comfortable. I've been smiling more today, I'm not sure that he noticed. Now whenever I'm alone I don't feel as comfortable compared to when he is with me.

When I was eating dinner alone, he sat next to me, he came from the table that his friends were sitting at. He is so sweet. When we got back to our tent, before he went to sleep, he said "goodnight", it just got me.                      I can't stop smiling,         FUCK YOU