(Yours Series # 3) Never Yours (PUBLISHED)

Chapter 03

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#NY03 Chapter 03

"Sorry," Eli said when he stopped walking.

"Why?" I asked, just trying to fill in the silence.

"Hindi ko rin alam bakit kita hinatak. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung saan tayo papunta."

I looked at him. He was smiling uneasily. I smiled at him.

"It's okay," I replied. "I was about to leave, too," I lied.

At that moment, I was frozen. I knew I should leave... but I didn't know how to take the first step. Was that how people view me? As... segunda mano? Second hand? Damaged goods?

I knew I shouldn't be affected.

But that stung.

And I hated that it stung.

"Why were you there, anyway?" I asked instead. He was obviously not that comfortable around me, so I was thankful that despite that, he still managed to get me out of that situation.

"Shit!" he suddenly said. "Birthday dinner ng nanay ko!"

I smiled at him. "I'm okay here," I said.

He looked at me. "Sure ka?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm an adult, in case it's not obvious."

His lips parted for a few seconds. "Joke ba 'yan, Kelsey?"

I rolled my eyes. "No," I said, frowning for a bit.

He laughed. "Pero sure ka ba na okay ka lang?" he asked again.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

But he continued to look at me. I started to feel uncomfortable because of the way he was staring at me. Like he was trying to know my inner most thoughts...

It's unnerving.

"Hindi ka segunda-mano, okay?"

"I know," I quickly replied.

"May mga gago lang talaga na tao."

I kept quiet.

"Minsan, iyong mga sinasabi nila, reflection 'yun kung ano talaga iyong nararamdaman nila sa sarili nila," he continued as he stared right at my face while I averted my gaze and stared at the people passing by us. "Wala namang taong brand new. Lahat naman tayo may pinagdaanan na."

"Eli, I'm fine. Really," I said because I really didn't feel comfortable with talking about this—not with my family, not with him.

When I got married with Sean, that was my own decision.

When I got pregnant with Sammie, that was also my own decision.

When I decided to walk away from my marriage, that was also my own decision.

I seriously needed for people to finally realize that I was an adult with my own mind and they didn't need to think for me, to feel for me.

"Okay..." he said, sounding like he thought I was offended.

"But thank you," I quickly replied. "I really appreciate what you did there."

He nodded. "Seryoso ba? Kasi hindi ko sure kung tama ginawa ko. Bigla lang parang nag-auto-pilot ako at hinatak kita bigla."

I smiled. "You did the right thing."

"Aalis ka talaga?"

"Yes," I said.