I sit in my room watching Beth's new video with tears rolling down my cheeks.
Lily is gone.
Lily is gone.
Lily is gone.
Over an over I try and process that though through my head but I can't seem to except that my big sister is gone.
Today is the funeral.
My heart races as I take my place beside the coffin.
I wore a black satin dress, my hair curled and the top part braided into a fishtail.
Makeup covered up the fact that my soul was lost.
Behind that red lipstick were chapped uncared for lips curved into a frown.
Behind that cat flick and water- proof mascara were puffy unseeing eyes.
And behind that foundation, powder and concealer was pale, lifeless skin.
"Tara, would you like to say something?" I'd been half asleep 'til I heard my name "oh urm yeah ok" I said without thinking. As I walked up to Lily's coffin I felt my legs shaking, my heart racing and the world closing in on me, like I was trapped.
Then I found out that I must have passed out..... again. I was still in the grave yard but a doctor now leant over me "she's fine now" he said
But only on the outside, on the inside I was broken beyond repair.
These days the only thing that kept me going was Bethany Mota. my queen☺👑 and my float when I was drowning in my own sorrow.
When I got back home I desided I needed alone time.....
Headphones on music playing!
🎵Tight skin, bodyguards
Gucci down the boulevards
Nothing but time to kill
Sipping life from bottles
Cocaine dollar bills and...
My happy little pill take me away
Dry my eyes
Bring colour to my sky's
My sweet little pill
Take my hunger
Drown within
Bring colour to my skin🎵
-Happy little pill TRXYE (Troye Sivan)
