The delinquent girl, She loves

I screamed in pain as the man with the alcoholic breath started kissing down my neck. He tied me down and took off my clothes... he was raping me.

"Mum mum " I screamed as load as I could.

"Shut up you bitch" the mans word slashed through my ears.

" Please" I said, the hurtful me , the 5 year old me cried to make the man stop.

"Don't you fucking know when to stop " he said whilst standing up and finding his belt."That bitch, the whore you call mother is not coming" he said whilst lashing the belt on to my bruised stomach.

I cried . Stammered for my words.

More and more...

" This is what you get when you don't do what your told, my friends were paying good money just to fuck you" he said fiercely" but you can't take it"

He said and belted me again. The man was my biological father, but to me this man was nothing like a father but rather a monster...

Then I suddenly woke, sweat trickling down my forehead, why does this always come back to me. As hate kept going through my mind all I wanted was to do is to smoke. I tried to calm myself ,my struggling body in every way possible  would not stop shievering. what shall I do I think to myself. all I want is to cut, smoke and drink my pain. what has life come to.

I lifted my t-shirt and saw the pale white marks that were still there from that day. It was there, there to symbolise everything. It was my fault why I got them. I deserved them. I rubbed my fingers against them feeling the ridged texture to scar it made my mind flash back to the day. Seeing his dark green eyes full of hatred and evil.

I heard something bang and I stopped immediately and felt the scared me come back as I started to panic.

Then I heard a voice "hayley I'm going to work" said the voice.

When I heard it, I recognised who it was and started to gently calm myself down. It was only the voice of my foster father chris. Thank god. Chris was my dad well the one who adopted me. The one who I can trust , but I don't tell him EVERYTHING.

I walked to the bathroom. Which was in my room, greatfully. No one needed to come in and it was for my liking.

I glanced into the mirror and saw an absolute disgusting figure in front of me. Man I looked like shit.

I got a wet towel and smashed it against my face and washed away the mascara that had smudged all the way down my face. It was actually quite hard to get off.

I don't where lots of make up , actually I don't where any except mascara , it makes my eyes look dark and mysterious and it really brings my green eyes out.

I winced putting the towel down as I had knocked over a couple of things on to the floor which hit my foot... It was my razor. The razor I used all the time....

I flipped my hair out the way and reached for it, it had been about 15 days since I used it, my foster mum had seen me use it once and told me to stop not that she cared in the first place she didn't even ask why I was doing it though. I didn't care because I don't tell anyone anyway. No one will understand why , nobody cares, I have been cutting for as long as I can remember, my memory is vivid due to an accident I had a few years ago. Though the accident had taken away some of my memories it had not taken away the painful memories I still have, which took over 9 years of my life. That was 9 years ago to , but it never left my life.

I put the razor in the cupboard beneath the sink well behind all the lotions I had so it could be hid.

Then I went back up to face my well my face in the mirror. I was so disgusted with my face all pale , no colour, the piercing on my lip and my massive green eyes, part of me says why don't I look pretty like other people but the other part of me knows that I don't deserve it.

Sighing I went in the shower, and just stood there whilst the warm water hit my pale body and it washing away the blood from the fresh cut on my shoulder. I looked down and saw my skinny body, not much to it, I had skin and bones and I was really pale.

I took some shampoo and washed my body and I carefully rubbed my stomach where my belly piercing was. Careful not to pull it out, otherwise I would have to go through piercing it myself again...

I stepped out and clothed myself, I wore what I wore all the time, my skinny black jeans, no pattern, no style, my tank top and black bring me the horizon. All black just to my liking . It was my favourite colour.

I grabbed my hair and pinned it to the back of my head and Applied my mascara.

I grabbed my bag and beanie and walked down stairs. I went in to the kitchen and there on the desk top was some food, I hated it. Food just made me feel bad and made it even worse so I stopped eating. No body noticed, why would they?

ignoring the food I saw a letter placed on the table. I grabbed it and looked at it. It was from chris to me.

"Hey hayley

Don't pressure your mum today does as she tells you I won't be back till late"

That's all it said. He just wrote to be nice to the bitch.

'Flashback'

I was 10 now and it was my first full year in the care home . I had been taken to this care home after police found drugs in the house as they were doing a search round the neighbour hood. But they also found me, they found me in the basement while my dad was raping me. Then he got locked up. I don't know what happened to my mum though.

In the care home I talked to nobody. I sat in the corner all alone.not even caring, I don't know what was happening I was only 10 years old what was I supposed to know.

That day two people walked into the care home and saw me. They were walking up to me. One was a tall man with dark brown hair with brown eyes he had a big smile on his face. Then there was a women with blond hair and blue eyes and she was faking a smile. They were walking up to me and I felt scared.. I thought they were going to hurt me.

I closed my eyes hoping they would vanish. My eyes were tightly sqeezed when I felt something touch me. I got so scared and started screaming and crying.I opened my eyes and saw the man trying to hug me, but I didn't know so I started kicking and screaming louder. Then I felt arms around me, the man was hugging me with such love.

" Sweetie shh it's ok I'm not going to hurt you" said chris

'End of flashback'

Chris is the one that cares about me and not his bitch of a wife she glares at me and when chris' is not in the house she would tell me ' you are a waste of space' then she would lock me in my room.

I walked to place I go ever monday, the worst place in the whole wide world. The place where everyone had friends and would socialise but the place where I would just be a shadow and that's how I like it. The place of which is called school.

I walked in just being glared at by lots of people I don't even know. I walked by chavs, goths, gangster and the barbie dolls the ones I will never belong to. This might sound stupid but I'm intimidated by them, if anyone tries to touch me I flinch, I hate it , when I look at someone I see the same face, the one I saw 9 years ago, I can't get it out of my head.

I walked to the corner where my locker was and opened it. I stuffed all my shitty books in there for today. As I was about to grab the ones for the first lesson , I heard someone been pushed against the locker next to me, I immediately started to feel scared, it can't be him, no he can't be here. I glanced next to me through my fringe and saw logan the ' hot boy' ( A/N haha I nearly wrote hot dog lol) of the school but also known as the bully, the player and the stupidest. I flinched when the boy he hit against the locker and hit my arm as he crashed down to the floor.

I was scared now I tried not to look but I don't know what was happening. There was blood coming from the guys lip and then there was logan standing on top of him hitting him.

I was really scared, but then the most terrifiying thing just happened.

As logan stood he looked at me ...