Remember This Moment

Chapter 1

You are brave. You are unique. You are smart. You are handsome. You are happy... you are..happy. I looked in the mirror and repeated this to myself in hopes to seek truth in it. Was I truly happy? Honestly, no. I'm barely okay. It's hard to be something you're absolutely not and try to live life with a fake smile. 

Whatever, that's some next level depression shit that I'm not trying to get into right now. 

This is the start of my senior year at Marie Carvalle High School and I'm honestly not in the mood to make this the year I discover myself. I'm just going to try and blend in, pass my classes, go to prom since I'd look lame if I didn't, graduate, and THEN fuck some shit up in college.

Since I live a few minutes away, I just decided I should walk to school today. Saves gas. I have on my khaki school pants with my Navy Blue sweatshirt that has my school's crest of a Lion right above my left pectoral. 

It's 7:24 a.m., I'm walking in through the gates when all of a sudden I feel someone loop their arm through mine and hold my hand. I didn't even have to look since I already knew who it was. My best friend Camille Bartholomew.

"Hey Babe!" she exclaims with too much exhilaration since it is 7:30 in the morning. "It's been such a long time, oh my god." She was over for dinner last night, but okay.

"Hey weirdo, why are you so energetic?" I ask.  She smirks at me. She's hiding something, but she looks away as if saying it's a surprise. I stop walking and she tries to pull me from my spot.

"I'm not moving until you tell me whatever it is that's making you act like an idiot today." She tugs one more time and finally gives up. I smile knowing that I've won.

"Ugh fineee.... so.." She hesitates. Her cheeks redden as she feels too embarrassed to tell me now.

"C'mon, spill!" I yell.

"Okay, okay! So, you know that guy Dante Porter who we used to sit behind in Pre-calc together?" She starts to get even redder as I can tell where this conversation is leading to.

"You absolutely did not.." I look at her with an unbelievable expression. Dante Porter may be one of the best looking guys at school, but knowing this only boosts his ego and makes him one of the most self-centered, cockiest picks this school has to offer. 

She giggles and plays with her hands. My poor best friend placed herself among the masses of bodies that that dickhead has.

"Oh, you poor thing." I embrace her in a hug and pat her head. "My poor baby has been VIOLATED!" I cry.

She shoves me off of her and hits my arm, rather aggressively. I wince and rub the spot looking at her for an explanation.

"I didn't go all the way with him! You asshole, we just.. made out and.. other things. But I'm not just some token slut, Eli." She looks hurt that I would have made that assumption.

"Whatever you say, gumdrop" I boop her nose and continue to walk to my first period. She catches up with me and holds my hand again, looking a little annoyed.

"You may not like him, which is fine, but he's actually really nice." She tries to convince me. Not happening.

"What, did he tell you you were the prettiest girl he's talked to and bought you ice cream before he tongued you?" I asked. She opens her mouth to say something, but then looks down with wide eyes as she recalls the exact scenario happening. I laugh at her, "Damn I didn't think I was right, but okay. You poor, naive little thing. I pray you don't catch feelings, because I don't want to be the one who has to deal with you when he ghosts you."

"Oh screw you, Eli. At least I'm getting some attention. Who's been in your DM's lately, huh?" Ok first off, ouch. Didn't need to be reminded of my non-existent love life.

"Babe, you know I'm not interested in dating right now. Every girl here is either obsessed with the idea of getting Dante Porter in their bed or they're ghetto. I shan't be among the men who has been with a girl that Dante's been with."

 This wasn't true. I just personally didn't find any attraction to women. It makes me think I'm gay, but I also don't find any attraction to any guy either. Then again, this school is filled with trash excuses of "men" so I don't really have a fair chance to determine my sexuality. I just tell everyone I'm straight to make things easier on myself. I know if I do come out as gay, a lot of people would not like that too much, so I'm just going to avoid being hate crimed this year.

But there are a lot of marvel men that can get. it. whenever. they. wanted.

Okay so maybe I'm gay, I don't know!

Camille and I split off into our first periods and I nearly stumble back as I collide with someone who was walking out at the same time I was walking in.

"Shit, watch out." Is all I hear from the moron who bumped into me. I look into his eyes and was about to apologize until I see who exactly was in my way. None other than Dante Porter. I thought I smelled cheap cologne and Old Spice.

I walked into class without saying anything and found my seat in the back since I'm not really trying to be in anyone's view. I look up seeing Dante walking back into the room. We made brief eye contact before he took a seat somewhere on the opposite side of the room. Great, I get to wake up and immediately get to see Dante everyday for the rest of my senior year.

This year is already turning into a shit show, and it's only day one.