So Casually Cruel

Chapter 3: The Whitney

"So..." Joe said with a smile, "I bought some shoes today..."

He continued causal talk over dinner as Taylor grew increasingly irritated. Not with him, but at Karlie's reminder. Yes, the wedding was soon. Yes, she remembered. Yes, they were on good terms, but all of it annoyed Taylor greatly. She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much because over the past few months, Karlie hadn't even been a thought in her mind, but it did. It bothered her a lot.

She realized she had been tuning Joe out completely until she heard him say Karlie's name, which snapped her out of the fog quickly.

"What," she replied nervously.

"I saw the Instagram post of you two. Must've been fun catching up! Can't believe she's getting married!" His innocence flowed through his tone. He knew the odds and ends of the story, but not all of it. That weighed heavy on Taylor's heart and struck her with guilt every chance it got, but she knew that sometimes the past was better left buried.

"Yeah, it was fun," Taylor exclaimed as she sifted the last bits of pasta around her plate. "Great to catch up with old friends," she added with a bit of a harsh tone tied to the end.

Joe looked up noticing the sting in his girlfriend's voice. "You alright?"

"Yes, babe, you know..can we just- can we just leave? Dinner has been great, but I have to be up early tomorrow for sound check and... yeah." She cut her statement short now irritated with herself for ruining their night.

Joe wasn't sure whether to be understanding or completely confused by her quick change in character. He knew this wasn't like Taylor at all, but agreed with her suggestion to leave.

The car ride home was quite. Taylor shifted in her seat closer to Joe and propped her head on his shoulder. As he grabbed her hand, she felt calm and tried to forgive herself for cutting the night short after looking forward to it for so long.

Once they got back to the hotel room, Taylor turned to her boyfriend and pushed him back against the door. Joe was completely caught off guard and let her fall into him. She began kissing him harder than usual, grabbing him tightly, and digging her nails into his chest.

She didn't want to be soft. She didn't want to look him in the eye. There was aggression in the back of her mind that flowed through her actions.

The wine on her lips from dinner was apparent. She began to unbutton his shirt as they kissed and he let her. A part of him knew she needed this, but he was also concerned.

As Taylor's hands began to roam his body, Joe began to weaken because of her need and took control.
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The next morning, both Taylor and Joe had to be up early. He was heading back to London for his movie and she had sound check and rehearsal. The couple said their goodbyes and parted ways once again.

On the way to the stadium later that day, Karlie's messages had began to creep back into her thoughts. With her head pounding from the wine the night before, she threw back some Tylenol.

Taylor grabbed her phone and reread the messages. She hadn't replied to any of them.

After a few hours into rehearsal, she found herself distracted and a bit hungover making her performance fall short. She began to constantly check her phone between every movement. Finally another text.

"I'm not sure if you're still angry with me or what, but I hope we can catch up soon. Something is telling me we should."

She felt sick. Taylor immediately stopped rehearsal and called for a break. She was far too distracted to even think about her next move. With swift fingers, she began to type.

"Sorry! I've been crazy busy! I'm glad you enjoyed the show and it was nice seeing you and the girls. I won't be able to make the wedding unfortunately, but I'm thrilled for you guys! Thank you for the invite!"

Sent. It was done. It was over with.

Taylor got a sick feeling in her stomach greater than the one she already had. She knew this feeling all too well. She knew she couldn't go back to the place she was with Karlie nor did she want to. With that, she knew she had to cut her off once more. Be civil, but also wash her hands with the situation. So she did.