My Dawn Within the Gloom

C2: The Bad News

"Mama," his soft voice sounds near my ear. I actually caught a fright before realizing that it was my baby. Sitting up straight and wiping my eyes, I looked at him with a lethargically forced smile, "Hey baby, how are you feeling?" I ask him after planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

Smiling tiredly at me he moans, "Mmm." Chuckling I bite his nose gently, "You scared mama Sae Dum."

"Mmm, mama don't call me Sae Dum, you know I don't like that name," he says with a pout. Leaning over, I kiss his pout and grin, "But you are my Dawn within my gloomy life so why not my Sae Dum?"

He rolls his eyes at me, "Mama, you're a sweet talker, if you keep this up, I will love only you and never get married." Ah, and you call me a sweet talker Yule.

Helping him sit up against me on the hospital bed, I rub his head gently with my right hand while I hug him to myself, "Baby, the doctor says we have to stay in the hospital until you are well, so Sae Dum, you will have to get better okay?"

He looks up at me from under his lashes and reaches his hand up to wipe away my tears. A frown forms on his face, "Mama why are you crying, is there something wrong with me?"

"Mama's sorry for being so weak Sae Dum, I feel so helpless, I don't even know where to start," I say looking into his beautiful black orbs. Yule chuckles shaking his head, "Start from the beginning Dal Byeol," he says. And of cause since I have a nickname for him, he has one for me.

Kissing his forehead I say, "The doctor said that you have a sickness and it is very tough getting better from that sickness. You have to stay in the hospital for a very long time and it will be tough."

This child of mine frowned, his gaze contemplating gaze turned to a mocking one, "Mama, you make it sound so difficult, all I have to do is stay here and get better right? It's not like anyone will miss me and you will be here right my Dal Byeol?"

Hearing those words make a pain shoot through my heart, how can he be okay with that? Not having friends... smiling at him I nod, "Of cause mama will and I'll make sure to bring you homework so that you don't become stupid!"

He gasps in disbelief, "How can you say that? You're supposed to be my mama," he complains and punches my softly then chuckles. Hugging him gently I complain, "Ah, and you are supposed to be my baby, why did you grow up?"

"If I don't grow up soon, I have to work and make money too so that my Dal Byeol doesn't work so hard," he says while balling his fists with determination. Ah this little man of mine, just thinking of him not being around is already scaring me and he is talking about the future. I have to make sure that my little hero makes it out healthy.

"Alright alright Sae Dum, here, mama, made you healthy sandwiches so eat up and drink your orange and mango juice, mama has to make a call," I say, handing him a lunchbox and the bottle of juice I prepared this morning for him.

Thanking me, he immediately digs in. I get up after kissing his cheek and pull out my phone. Dialling my sister's number I wait for her to answer as I walk out of the room so Yule doesn't hear me. After five rings she answers, "What the fuck do you want?"

My gaze hardens and I steel my heart. It wasn't only my father who abandoned me but everyone in my family, my brothers, sisters, mother, father and also those fuckers who raped me, "Who in our family has Leukaemia?" I asked cutting to the chase.

"Haaaah family?! You filthy whore, you aren't apart of our family, why are you... huh, wait, what? Leukaemia, why? What does that have to... Oh, the Moon Goddess is finally taking you from..." and I end the call, I don't know what I was expecting by asking her about it. Truth be told, I don't understand why she answers my call every time I call her but according to my counsellor, it seems that they still think of me since they all do answer my calls.

I moved three towns away so that they wouldn't find me especially those two uncles of mine. I met Yule's father in high school and yes, he raped me too while I was trying to hide away to settle my heat in one of the classes but as fate would have it, I was forced down and fucked until he came back to his sense and what made things worse was that he was straight... he forced me into submission and made me silent, I was so afraid that he'd kill me so I stopped going to school and have been working ever since, a whole seven years and you know when I found out that I was pregnant with his child, the first thought was to abort him but the dream I had the night before the surgery of him asking me not to abort him, I listen and ever since his birth, he became my hero. The one who pulled me out of the darkness into the light, the one who is my dawn within my gloomy life, my Yule, my Sae Dum... I have to make sure that he comes out alive.

My phone suddenly rings, looking at the caller I.D I frown, it's my sister, answering the call I remain silent, "Hey Taekyun! Why the fuck did you end the call, I was still speaking to you!! Are you going to die? Do you have Leukaemia?"

Pulling the phone from my ear, I end the call yet again. Let those fuckers celebrate, I have other things to worry about. I block her call again then dial my best friends number, "Hello~" she answers happily.

"Hey, Soo Eun, I need your help," I say. She obviously beams, "Sure what is it, you know you can ask me for anything."

"Well, I'm at the hospital with Yule and I need to go back to work to make arrangements since he'll be staying here for a while, can you come over and look after him for a while?" I say to her.

"Noooo, I'm on my way, my poor Yule, I'm coming, tell my baby I'm coming," she squeals. We end the call after telling her which hospital. I return to Yule's side to find him snoring. Checking the lunch box, I smile happily seeing that he ate most of it and drank most of the juice as well.

I pack everything away and get in bed beside him. Humming I start to sing his favourite lullaby, "I'll fly for you, my child, my son, sweet dreams to you, my only one. I'll fly for you, my child, my son, sweet dreams to you, my only one."

The doctor walks in slowly with a sheepish smile on his face, "Mr Park, the results from the bone marrow test is as I suspected." Hearing his words, I sigh and blink back my tears, I was expecting this result since he had the signs and symptoms.

"And you are not a match for a donor," he says. My heart drops hearing his words. I shoot up from the bed, "What do you mean I'm not a match?! Yule is my son, I gave birth to him!!"

"Calm down Mr Park, yes Yule is your son by birth but your blood doesn't match him nor will your bone marrow be a match," he says to me. I look at him trying my best to refrain myself from falling to the floor, "But how? If I'm not a match then who is?"

"We should test the father, in almost all the child cases, the father is a perfect match. And the reason for you not being a match is because that's how things are, the mother is the carrier but the father is the deciding character," he says happily.

Despair befalls me! I stumble back and land on the floor. The doctor quickly helps me up and looks at worriedly, "Are you okay Mr Park?" I nod my head slowly, "H-His f-father..." I trail.