Cafuné

Chapter 1

TW: This chapter contains self-harm

It's always been so amazing at Hogwarts, it's all anyone could ever want, everyone always says that. But for me it's a whole nother story, Malfoy completely ruined this wonderful place for me. Hogwarts was originally my get away from my outside life until Malfoy started being a dick all of a sudden in 3rd year.

He hates me.

I hate him.

So why can't he just leave me alone after all these years? Perhaps it's because we're forced to hang out by our friends? Most likely- No scratch that, definitely likely. If it wasn't for them we wouldn't even have this problem. But of course like always, we're forced to do everything together by our friends.

He always makes snarky comments towards me or just bumps into me in the halls. But sometimes he'll bring it way too far and say stupid shit about me and sometimes it'll effect me so badly that i'll go as far as even cutting myself over him. I'm so fucking pathetic for it I know, but somehow he effects me like no one else does and I fucking hate it.

I suddenly escape my thoughts as a Hufflepuff boy runs into me, "Watch where you're going Hufflepuff!" I shouted at him, although I didn't mean to yell I was just in a bad mood from thinking about him. He had a huge smile on his face but it instantly dropped as I shouted at him. I felt terrible, he looked like a nice boy with his curly hair and gapped teeth he was carrying around three books but they fell onto the floor when he bumped into me. He gave me soft smile and quietly said, "It's fine." I sighed before turning away as I continue walking to the great hall.

As I enter the great hall I see Pansy waving her hands in a "come here" motion. I walk over to Pansy, Blaise, and Theo and sit beside Theo across from Pansy and Blaise, "Where's Malfoy?" I question with a raised eyebrow. Theo looks at me and nudges me in the arm as he says, "Why do you care about him? Oooo I think somebody has a crush on Draco." Right after he says this all three of them laugh and I scoff and roll my eyes, "As if, Malfoy's fucking pathetic I would never like someone like him!" I whisper shout, as I say this I hear a chuckle from behind me.

Fuck.

"Talking about me again now are we Walston?" he says as he sits down beside me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I scoot closer to Theo. Blaise stops laughing and looks at Draco and says, "Where've you been mate? We've been waiting for you for 10 minutes." Draco looks at Blaise and just stares at him until he says, "I was just getting ready I woke up late no big deal." Theo looks between me and Malfoy while saying, "Well I think somebody missed you this morning Draco." Draco looks at me and scoffs, "That's fucking disgusting, I wouldn't want a disgusting girl like Walston worrying over me." I hit my firsts and stood up, "I'm done with all your fucking shit Malfoy!" I shouted while looking at him. I then walked out of the great hall feeling eyes on the back of my head as I leave.

I head straight back to my dorm and slam the door behind me before sitting down on my bed. I hate him so fucking much why can't he just fucking kill himself already! I stand back up before locking my door and walking over to my dresser grabbing a razor blade out of my drawer. I walk into the bathroom and close the door as I sit down on the toilet seat and pull up my skirt revealing various cuts all over my thighs.

I take the razor blade and slice a line across my thigh, as I do this I feel nothing. Cutting myself was an addiction, once I start it's so hard to stop. So I cut another line across my thigh as I feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I think about what he said to me, all the things he's ever said to me. I cut another line as I feel a hot tear roll down my cheek. I realize how pathetic I look right now, I'm cutting myself over a stupid fucking boy. I stare down at my thighs and watch all the red blood trickle out and down my thighs and dry up turning into a brownish-red color.

I fucking hate you with every bone in my body Draco Lucius Malfoy.

I grab a towel off the ground and get it wet before cleaning the blood off myself and pulling my skirt back down. I use the clean side of the towel and wipe my eyes making sure my eyes aren't too red. After I'm finished cleaning up I head out of my dorm and start walking to potions class.

As i'm walking I think about him once again, seeing him is gonna be shit I can already tell. I've kept this up for years, cutting myself over him. I always feel so  fucking pathetic over myself after it, just like I do right now.

When I arrive to potions class I sit down alone in the back of the class. I glance over to the door and notice Theo, Blaise, and Malfoy all walk in together. When I see him I clench my fists, all I want to do is just rip that stupid fucking smirk right off his ugly ass face. I look back to the front of the class as I slowly shut my eyes and take a deep breath trying to calm myself down.

Theo sits down next to me and notices my hands straight away, "Hey you okay ?" He questions me, I unclench my fist before opening my eyes back up and give him a soft smile, "Yeah everything's fine, why?" He squints his eyes at me and tilts his head to the side, "Are you fucking dumb? Just look at yourself right now, you're a mess." I roll my eyes and look away from him to the front of the class, "Yeah okay, thanks you look great too Theo." He rolls his eyes and chuckles as I say this.