bloodline|drarry

12|ceasefire

tw-sexuality questioning

"love is not a single shade"

"Um...I have to-" Potter was awkwardly gaping, his feet were shuffling about on the floor. Draco felt his stomach drop, it had been something he had wanted to say for a while but was too much of a coward to get it out. Now he'd gone and said it and Potter couldn't even give him a response, Draco's gut bubbled with anger; having a strong urge to punch Potter right in the middle of his disgusted face.

"I have..to go." Potter flustered his way out of the room, the click of the door closing was soft but it was blaring in Draco's mind. He felt like he'd just lost a part of him, it was ridiculous, him and Potter weren't even friends and he was getting upset over the fact that he didn't get a reply to his completely out of character claim.

Being friends with Harry Potter was something that Draco had always dreamed of, he blew his shot at that in first year when he realised that other people in the world existed, and all of these people didn't have to like him. From then on, Draco had been horrendously jealous of everything Potter had. He could've been sorted into Gryffindor and go on all the adventures that the golden trio went on, or he could've just stood up to his father and then he wouldn't have had to refuse someone begging him for a friendship, if Draco had just been less of a pussy, he could be living his fantasy life.

Draco closed his eyes, his lip quivering slightly, he sniffed; willing himself not to cry. This is exactly what he thought would happen, Draco had wanted to say something like that to Poter since sixth year, when he noticed he was following him about a lot. All Draco wanted was to be close to the other boy.

Harry Potter was everything Draco ever wanted, and now he couldn't have him.

Because of a dumb mistake he made when he was sixteen, he could never have the person he desired so badly. A salty tear spread across Draco's cheek, he ripped his sleeve up his arm, staring blankly at the slithering mark spreading throughout his sickly looking skin. He opened his mouth, and spat on the mark.

-

Harry ran to a place he hadn't been in a while, almost tripping over on his way up to the astronomy tower, the cold air hitting him as soon as he opened the door. He moved over to the opening in the wall, running his fingers over the metal railing; evidently trying to distract himself from the jagged ended thoughts that were penetrating through his mind.

He sat down, dangling his legs aimlessly over the ledge. It was mid november, the air was chilly, he shivered; he probably should've brought a jacket. Looking off into the distance, Harry could see the brooding summits of the scottish mountains, they were wrapped in thick clouds; another storm was probably coming.

Harry's thoughts traveled back to what Draco said. " You made me question everything they ever told me."

Harry knew that Draco's family had always told him how bad people like him were, Draco had made that very clear in all their years at Hogwarts. So why was Draco backtracking so much? And why was Harry utterly delighted about it?

Draco Malfoy had always been a mystery to Harry, he was a spoiled rich kid that appeared to have this incomprehensible family history that he never talked about. He was a marvel. Harry wanted to know more about Malfoy, he wanted to sit down and just listen to the other boy's smooth voice talk about his life for hours. The only time Harry had ever felt like this about another person was fourth year.

Cedric Diggory was someone Harry always looked up to, he was older, stronger, more confident and he was incredibly handsome; He was also the only champion who helped Harry out during the triwizard tournament. He remembered staring at both Cho and Cedric at the yule ball, not exactly sure who he wanted to dance with more.

That's when it hit Harry, like he was standing on a train track and the train just came out of absolutely nowhere.

He wasn't looking at Cedric because he wanted to be him, he was looking at Cedric because he wanted to snog his face off.

"Oh god." Harry blurted, to no one in particular. His mouth falling open as he came to this life altering decision, he was exactly what he didn't want to be. After kissing Draco the other day, something in his mind had shifted, the kiss had felt so unbelievably right and Harry couldn't explain why. This new revelation made so much sense, he just needed to understand it all now. It wasn't exactly like Hogwarts had a class that helped you understand your newly blooming sexuality.

Harry had never even heard a pureblood talk about sexuality, not necessarily because they were unsupportive, but just because things like this were "muggle" problems. It's difficult to explain to people who have never seen the outside world how real life issues work. He stood up, making a beeline for Hermione's room.

-

Hermione was sharing with Padma Patil, the only returning Patil twin, Harry hoped that she was out; he really needed to have a good breakdown. He knocked on her door, opening it and peeking his head in, thankfully only Hermione was sitting in the room.

"Harry!" she exclaimed happily, she was sitting on the floor on a large pillow, making jewellery. Ever since she had come back to Hogwarts, she had been making and selling jewellery for all of their friends. "Here, come sit down" she picked up another pillow and threw it down next to her, Harry sat cross legged on the comfortable pillow. He watched as her hands delicately threaded the pearly beads onto the elastic, there was an 'L' charm hanging down in the middle of the necklace. "I'm guessing that's for luna?" she laughed a little, "Ginny"

Harry shifted kind of awkwardly at the mention of ginny, this massive new secret burning at the back of his mind. "Here Harry" Hermione placed a necklace clasp in the palm of Harry's hand "Look after this while I tie the last bead off." She tied the end of the necklace off with a flick of her wand, taking the clasp out of Harry's hands and doing the same.

"Perfect" She smiled, putting the necklace into a small bag embroidered with Ginny's name.

"It's beautiful 'Mione" he put his head down on her shoulder, his hand resting on her arm. Hermione's own hand went up to Harry's hair, breathing out gently. Harry knew it was time, he couldn't put it off forever and if he didn't tell her now, he never would.

"Hermione, you know about loads of different muggle things, don't you?" Harry asked, Hermione sat up, raising an eyebrow. "Of course?" Hermione said, stating the obvious. Harry turned around a little, to sit directly in front of his best friend. "What does it mean when you've kissed a girl and a boy, and you enjoyed it both times?" Harry mumbled, Hermione shrugged, "it could mean you are Bisexual, but it doesn't have to" Hermione explained "you can decide yourself, you know what's going on in your own brain. Although it might help to know, it's completely okay not to." she finished, Harry lunged forward and pulled her into a tight hug, "thank you 'Mione." He could feel Hermione smile into his shoulder, she whispered into his ear.

"You are entirely up to you, Harry."