Protect My Heart (Bodyguard AU)

Part 12

Bucky throws the tray of food across the room. Wishing that if his body didn't hurt so much, he'd kick and punch anything and everything in this hospital room. Hope, Sam, and Nat both look at him solemnly as he breaks down.

"It should've been me! Why wasn't it me?!" he continues to pick up and throw things as his team watches him.

"They did the best that they could, Bucky." Nat said as calmly and softly as possible.

He shook his head, eyes red and filled with anger...and guilt, "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to protect her. I failed."

"We all did, man," Sam spoke up.

Bucky scoffed, "But none of you loved her. Not like I did. I promised I'd keep her safe," he grits his teeth and glares at his somber looking team, "Get out," he sneers. With no resistance, they do, leaving their leader to wallow in his pain.

___________________

You're swinging your legs as they hang off the counter, watching Bucky stir the soup on the stove, "Usually chicken soup is for when people are sick. Not when they can't sleep or have nightmares."

He shrugged, "'M gonna be honest, I'm only doing this 'cause I'm sick of the amount of milk I've been drinking with you."

Your mouth drops open offendedly and you smack his arm, "You could've just declined whenever I made you a cup! Ugh!" you cross your arms over your chest and he chuckles.

"Yeah, but I didn't wanna deal with your attitude if I did decline. And don't even think about saying you wouldn't gimme an attitude. We both know you would."

You scoffed, "Fine. Point taken."

"Good. Now hand me the bowls, please."

You comply, handing the dishes that lay next to you. You watch as he ladles out some into each bowl and then turn the stove off. You hop off the counter and move to the couch where your usual late night shenanigans occur.

"It's 2am and you're both eating soup?" Hope asks as she walks into the kitchen.

You shrugged, "Couldn't sleep. There's more there if you want."

"Pass, but thanks."

Bucky sits back eating his soup and watching how you interact with Hope. There's a sense of ease coming off you and he's happy. When him and his team first arrived, he could see how awkward and uncomfortable it was. But now, two months later, you're no longer tense. When he hears your soft laugh as you're talking to Hope, he finds himself smiling. He likes the sound of your laugh. A lot.

"What's got you all doey-eyed over there, Barnes?" you ask as you sip some of your soup.

His smile widens and he just shrugs, "Just stuff." He watches as you roll your eyes and mutter, "Whatever," going back to your soup. There's a fluttering in his chest and heart. Maybe this was when he realized he was starting to have feelings for you.

______________________

Bucky is on medical leave while the rest of the team continues their search for Pierce, Rawlins, and Rumlow. That's probably best because he knew that if he got to them, he'd rip their limbs off one by one.

He's stuck in this hospital room until he can move without wincing. It still hurts to breathe. With every rise and fall of his chest, the stab wounds move and he just wishes he can't breathe.

No word about your death has made it on the news, which is good. You probably would want it that way. Only have your closest friends and family know.

Steve has visited him every day since he was admitted. He's grateful that his old friend doesn't blame him for his friend and client's untimely death.

"How're you doing today, Buck?" Always the same question.

"Fine." Always the same answer.

Steve nods and just sits in the chair beside the bed, "They're close, Buck. The team's closing in on them. They're gonna get them."

"I should be there. Make them feel exactly how i do," he grits.

Steve sighs, "We all know that if you were there with them, you'd show no mercy. These guys are gonna rot in jail for the rest of their lives."

"That's not good enough!" Bucky sneers at his old friend, "They killed her, Steve! Killed her! They took her away from me and they need to pay!"

"And they-"

"Rotting in jail is too good for them! I want them to suffer! I want to see the light leave their eyes as I stab all of 'em six times in the chest! Three for me and three for-" he lets out a sob, "for Y/N."

"You'll get your justice, Bucky. Maybe not in the way you want, but it's still justice. Getting these guys and throwing them into jail is the type of closure that you and Y/N need."

He scoffs, "How would you know what she'd need?"

"You forget that Y/N has been my friend and client for years," Steve stands up angrily from the chair, "You're not the only one who cared about her, Bucky. I love her too. She was my friend, a sister. So stop acting like everyone doesn't know how you're feeling." without another word, Steve stormed out from the room. A glass vase shattering as soon as the door closes.

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"He's losing it. Knowing that he's stuck in bed and not being able to help is really frustrating him."

"Yeah, he threw his food at me. All I asked was if he needed help changing. Then food is thrown at me! Such a waste of perfectly good food!" Sam cries out.

Nat shook her head, "We're almost there. As soon as we get word of their next location, we get 'em. Alive or dead, they're ours."

"I just want this to all be over." Eyes all look over to you, who's sitting at the very end of the table. You look tired, and the bags under your eyes makes it all blatantly clear that you need sleep, "I just-I feel bad. He thinks I'm dead! Why can't we just tell him?"

Steve shook his head, "Y/N, you know that it's not a good idea. He's emotionally compromised. His feelings for you already put you in enough danger. We can't let him mess this up even more. So in the meantime, you're quiet and laying low." You open your mouth to say something, but Steve continues, "I know it sucks and I know you want to comfort him, but please, trust them. They're gonna get these guys and you can live your life without having to worry about the target on your back."

You slowly nod your head and mumble out, "Okay." You understood why this was so important, faking your death. It was giving Rawlins and Pierce and false sense of security. And once they slip up, the team will strike and you'll never have to deal with them again. For real this time. And you'll be off living your life safely, possibly with Bucky by your side. That is, if he doesn't hate you after this is over.