The Tangled Me

ch-1,alone

With the  local winds , cold weather and cloudy day I was alone , I don't use to have much freinds becoz I was an introvert and it was not like an option I choosed it it was because I was never treated well by anyone. I want u to know why I'm so Tangled so confused , when I was very young my mom used to be my best freind and she left the world when I was 11 years old due to blood cancer , I still remember the day 2013 /December 4 , 12:05 pm I was for waiting for my mom sitting on the bench of the corridors , my father came to me his face was all red , he picked me up and showed me my mom's face ...pale no moments I asked my father " papa , what happened to mommy is she's going to sleep now " my father replied with a sad and trembling voice " ur mommy is no more" and burst into tears watching my father crying i fear something has happened to mom I started crying on my father's arm he hugged me tightly and said "everything is going to be ok " from that moment I knew my mom is finally visiting god and she'll be watching me from their , Dec 5 to Dec 15, I never spoken a word to anyone all I was able to remember was  my mothers words and her smily face  , her Last words were "you're so Tangled Rowan I think you have inherited my mood swings " and ....she was true I was an unfit without my mother on my side I was never able to deal with anything and I've always got questions which were only answered by her , I guess her answers were satisfying and I Miss her so much and I fell cold so cold and the nxt moment , I lost my senses (break down)

With all my regrets and sorrow I was 14 years old now and an introvert in the corner of a class (my father send me to boardings because he was too busy) and I was never treated well there also I got bullied by 3 kids everyday,  the teachers always scolded me for lack of attention and marks and no one in the classroom ever talked to me much , still I got one freind of mine "Wyatt Gilbert" he was the only one who shared his food , tried to protected me even if we both got bitten off btw still my questions about life was unsolved I was still confused and even if I tried asking questions about myshelf, I never got an answer which ever sounded satisfying as much as my mother

.....June 4 /2016 the day my life changed.
Well I was a overthinking animal so I used to write down my questions on my diary page by page everyday as a usuall day ,I was sitting alone it was my recess  I was writing my question and it was  "what life and being alive means to you ? " The bench where I usually sat was a little bit far from the school building and unfortunately a dog attacked me  , I was so busy to save myself that I screamed and ran away after getting into class I forgot about my diary when I remembered it , it was too late and students were not allowed to leave their hostels after 6:00pm so I waited for the next day , when the recess bell rang I runned toward the bench and it was their I picked it up and checked and  I was surprised there was an answer on page June 4 , the answer of my question and it was """""" hey , I got answer for you for what I've experienced I believe that life show us what being alive means reaching out  the hearts who affected ours , accepting someone else coming to like someone else telling someone that you hate their guts and also having fun with a really good freind even if holding someone's hand those proff that you are alive""""""" my heart skiped a moment and I fell holding my mother's hand and remembered every good moments I use to had for the first time I felt a satisfaction for an answer and I smiled happily, I noticed the book was quite warm that means somebody picked it up , I looked here and there nobody was there I sat down and started writing my next question on page June 5 "how can I stop hateing someone ? " And "who are you?" And left my diary on the desk with something  and started moving towards my class , I was still thinking who can be that person suddenly I remembered the bench was only accessible to the girls hostel from the back door and I turned around and started looking for someone and I saw a girl with very long and beutiful hair turning around the moment I marked her she ran away , well I  told myshelf that situation was still vague for me so I have to wait for next day and hoped that she will get my flowers and "thanks" that I had left on the bench with my next questions (with a hope in my mind that finally I'll get an satisfying  answer for my questions )....

Ch-1____the end____