THE CUT THAT ALWAYS BLEEDS ✔️

🩹 epilogue

(tw: self harm)

THE CUT THAT ALWAYS ...

it's late, the moon barely peering behind the dark thunderous clouds looming overhead. i lay across my bed, my arms and legs spread out like a star fish, tears streaming down both sides of my face and into my hair. i don't have the energy to wipe them away. i don't have the energy to do anything.

i here loud knocks on the door, but i don't get up for them; i know who it is. as always, he was done with his play thing, so he comes back to me, because no one else will love him as much as i do. and i hate myself for it. i hate how easily i let him walk straight back into my life. wouldn't it be cool if you could block people irl?

the knocks get louder, but i still don't move. my fingers are cold, i can't feel them. my body is starting to feel cold as well. my breath is slowing down, and i can feel the strain on my lungs. the knocks keep sounding, and he's shouting now; he's shouting my name, but i wont let him in. i can't let him in!

my head rolls to the side, glancing down at the mess on my arms. my mum is gonna freak when she sees it, now all over my bed sheets. she'll probably just throw them away and buy new ones. i feel dizzy, everything is spinning around me. is this what death feels like?

jisung! jisung, please! his shouts are frantic, and i don't know if i can bare it anymore. i can't feel any pain, but i'm still crying. am i really going to die here? do i want to die? it was like a wave, crashing into me with thoughts of denial and doubt. i didn't want to die. i wanted my pain to end. i wanted the heartbreak to end.

i push myself up from the bed, my arms screaming with pain. there was blood everywhere, my bedsheets, my clothes, soaking my numb hands. as soon as i stand up, i almost fall back down, my head spinning, not being able to walk in a straight line. i have to hold onto the walls as i wall, leaving a trail behind me. mum is gonna be really pissed when she gets home.

i make it to the door, my whole body leaning up against it. "hyunjin..." my weak voice calls out to him. he's on the other side, shouting my name. it sounds like he's crying. i never liked it when he cried. my hand slowly falls down to the handle, and i use the last of my strength to pull the door open.

he stands there in shock as i fall to my knees, falling down beside me and holding onto me. "jisung," he croaks out. "jisung, why? w-why would you do this?" his voice is frantic as his tears fall onto my face. they're considerably warm, but the rest of me is cold.

"you," i manage to say. i can feel heart slowing, and it doesn't feel right. when i'm with hyunjin, my heart usually races. but why? why do i feel no pain now with him? why isn't he smiling? i'll never find out...

... because now my cuts will never bleed.

THE END