𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 2008

Precious Things

Title: Precious Things
Team: Fanon
Author: charlotteschaos
Prompt: The Tower
Wordcount: 15,200
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None.
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy has been kidnapped and only one boy man hero can save the day.

"Feathers! Poof your feathers!" Scorpius demanded, poking a stick at the unimpressed albino peacock.

If a peacock could, it would roll its eyes. As it was, it threw its head back and gave a short cry that sounded somewhere between an annoyed cat and an angry baby, puffed slightly and then turned around to walk away.

Undaunted, Scorpius followed it, picking up small pebbles along the way that he tossed onto the bird's back, trying to get it to raise its hackles.

The bird was a long-time resident of Malfoy Manor and was quite adapted to Scorpius's summer restlessness. He shrugged off the pebbles, gave a desultory look back and then strutted forward, head bobbing leisurely.

Scorpius threw the stick at the bird in irritation and then kicked the ground. It vexed him when the world at home didn't bend to his will. His grandmother said he took after his father in that way.

He was nearly to the gates when he heard a booming voice that came from an enormous man.

"Hey, kid."

Folding his arms, Scorpius stopped in his tracks, taking in the fatty before him. He had a huge pumpkin head and wore cheap Wizard robes. He was already in his third year at Hogwarts, old enough to know plenty of hexes (and dark ones thanks to his da and his godfather) but not old enough to use them for no good reason.

He regretted tossing away his stick. He wondered what kind of noises the fat man would make if he poked him with a stick.

"What?"

"You want some sweets?" The fat man held out a half-eaten Jaffa cake and Scorpius rolled his eyes.

"Yes of course I'd love to share manky sweets with a homeless person outside of my fabulous manor. Can I aid you in any other way at trying to bugger a nubile young child?"

The fat man looked at him blankly like a cow. His eyes blinked slowly and it took him a moment before he realized he'd been insulted. "I have puppies... just back over there."

"You're really bad at this, did you know? They ought to rip up your NAMBLA card," said Scorpius. He really should raise an alarm, but he was bored and telling off this fat perv was more amusing than chasing mutant birds.

"You really are just like your da," he man mumbled. He sighed and went to put his hands in his pockets, but he still had the Jaffa cake in his mammoth paw. Startled that it was still there, he jumped and tried to fish it back out. All of the movement made his fat jiggle and his robes set to shaking until a glossy magazine flopped from somewhere in the depths of his rolls of fat and polyester fabric.

The book fluttered to the ground just outside of the gate, but Scorpius's keen eyes detected at once the bare mammary glands on the cover, as well as the lacquered nails moving them in circles for the camera.

"Is that... porn?" asked Scorpius. He took a few steps forward to verify his suspicions.

"You're too young for that!" said the fat man. He grunted as he bent over to pick it up. Muttering to himself, he reached for it on the ground in front of him helplessly.