K A R M A

Chapter 2: Valerie

Anika isn't dead. Ok. Breathe in...breathe out. Shit. Fuck. What do I do??? I could feel myself panicking. The person I thought I could run away from, the past. The deaths. Marquise dead? His 'mom' dead too...something isn't right. I read the texts over and over; how could she have possibly gotten my information. I placed my head in my knees and bawled. I was rudely interrupted by Damien's knocking.

"Babe...you okay? The door is locked." He asked.
"Yes," I sniffled, "just can't believe I inspired many people you know."
"You're a talented woman baby. You've made such an impact on people and I'm so proud of you. I still can show you if you let me in..." he said trailing off.
I giggled a little. "You lost your chance by choosing the game over me. Tonight I'm just gonna take some ME time."

I heard a deep sigh before he walked away, I could tell he was concerned but I didn't want to draw too much attention to the situation at hand. I waited about 20 minutes before making a phone call.

"So you got the news huh?" A soft spoken voice asked.
"This isn't something to play around with." I said in a stern voice.
"The only person playing right now is you, Valerie."
"My name isn't Valerie. Valerie is dead."
"Ok so Alexa is the best you could do? If I were in your shoes I would have at least flew out the country. Stupid girl. How is it being famous anyway?"
"What do you want Anika? Money??? Like really."
"Did you not read the entire letter? I don't want your filthy money. I want revenge. There's no coming back from this. Valerie WILL be dead once I get done with her. And don't think twice before thinking that offing yourself would be a wise decision for you now. Even after death I can still ruin you. How would your kids feel? Your husband....Damien is his name?"
"How-"
"Like I said," she began, "I did my research. 9 years obsessed over the bitch that ruined my life. When you fled the scene, I laid there dying. Not only did you shoot me, but you wanted to be sexual in front of my dying corpse."

I sat up, thinking about that awful day. The day Tyson and I stopped talking. I snapped out my thoughts and listened some more.

"I was found barely alive by an officer who called for an ambulance. I was in a coma for almost a year. Yet there was still hope from my family. My son doesn't even recognize his own mom anymore. I still can barely see my son. I have night terrors. Because of you. And you're living your best life."
"I'm sorry Anika."
"Now you're sorry?" She laughed. "OH IF ONLY HUH. You're not the one constantly in and out the hospital. Bitch you should have shot me DEAD."
"I should have."
"So...why didn't you? Oh wait. You THOUGHT you did. I make myself laugh."
"You won't get away with this." I could hear my voice trembling.
"You're scared. I can hear it in your voice. Valerie you're evil and nobody suspected you to be evil because you manipulated people's feelings. I will make you feel the pain that you made us feel. And I can promise you that. I see everything you do. Remember that."

The call was cut short. I definitely need to reach out to Tyson, but how? He thinks I'm dead. Anika was the complete opposite of a genius, how could she have gotten so smart over the years? Clearly she's working with someone. Ex-CIA agent. I had no idea Marquise died. I remember him disappearing on me a couple years back but I didn't think anything of it.

I walked over to my dresser and picked up a portrait of me, Damien and the kids. Noelle & Jeremiah. My two beautiful precious angels. Then I looked up in the mirror and saw my own reflection. Valerie. As much as I wanted to hide it, I can see my mask fading away. The thought of knowing Anika wasn't dead and has found me has made me sick to my stomach. I feel as if the black hole that I was trying to get away from was slowly sucking me back inside. The mysterious woman who helped me get away is now dead too. Could it be she got caught up? Or was it also because of me? My past is really catching up to me. I glanced over at the clock. 1:02 AM. I figured Damien was probably asleep in the other room now if not on the game; either way he was distracted. I pulled out a sticky note and a pen and began writing.

Damien, you've been a great husband. Gave me two great blessings and many more....Right now I just need to clear my head. Just for a few days. I love you.

Again. Running from my problems.

• • •

Time felt like it stood still. The dark energy I felt 4 years ago when I was on the run is back. This time, it feels surrounded. The only thing I brought with me, a .22 Caliber pistol. I left my phone, my belongings, everything at home. I had to go. My whole life is a lie. That same night I shot Anika constantly replays in my head. She tried to tell me I wasn't the same. She pushed me to the edge. Bullshit. She triggered me to pull the trigger. I'm not one to blame. I pulled into an empty parking lot. It was just me, by myself. Alone. I was just going to kill myself. Save the world a lot of pain. Selfish move Valerie. I looked over at the pistol and picked it up. Selfish. Anika said that she could still ruin me even if I was dead. What does it matter though? I'm dead. My kids will just know their mother is a liar and evil. Instantly a flashback of my past played.

——— FLASHBACK ———

"I swear on my life I didn't rape her." Ryan said. "She was flirting with me and telling me how she wanted me to be her first. Told me to tie her up and do all this kinky shit. At first I was like aight she really fuckin' with it but then it became weird. The vibe wasn't matched no more so I untied her and left the room."

"The stories don't match up to what she told us. She claims you forced yourself on her and after told her you went 'easy' on her." A detective explained.

I saw Ryan lay his head on his lap. My word over his any day. We didn't have sex. And because he told me no, I couldn't take no for an answer...I pretended to hide scars as if he did, when in reality, I was hiding my obsession for aggressive sex. Eventually, I dropped charges because there wasn't exactly enough proof that he did it other than my words. His reputation was definitely ruined.

——— END OF FLASHBACK ———

It sickens me. Seeing him in the grocery store and knowing that I lied on his name, yet he still tried to contact me. No. He was still dirty. He still played with girl's emotions even after the allegations. Not your fault. I hated him. He still saw me as this beautiful girl he wanted to try with. Unless he truly forgot. To be the reason someone dies has to be stressful. I don't even know who killed Ryan. All Anika said that night was it was because of me. To know that I do have so many bodies. So much blood on my hands. I held the gun to my head and pulled the trigger.

Nothing. Fuck. Damien probably hid the bullets. Idiot. Who takes a gun without making sure it's loaded first. Damien knew that I had suicidal intentions when we first met. He reassured me that he wouldn't let me go out sad. But if he knew the real me....

I was interrupted by a knock on my window that frightened me.

Jesus. I threw my gun on the floor and rolled down the window.

"You look like you could use someone to talk to."

It was Tyson.