Mask

PART 27: CONTRITE

Cullen Jay's POV.

That night, her teary eyes, her last words. It is still so painful, even though she told me that she loves me and trusts me I still can't accept the fact that she's already gone— that there's a huge possibility that I will never see her again. Till now, she haven't came back to her condo yet. I still wait outside her door thinking that she might come back even though deep inside me, I know she won't.

My love for her is beyond any words, yes I admit that I tried to use her before just to get Yna back but it was unsuccessful because I fell in love with her. I fell in love with her personality, she may be really feisty but that doesn't change the fact that she is really caring and loving to the ones who are important to her, her beautiful voice, those beautiful eyes, her smiles— her smiling eyes, I would do anything just to see all of those again. I love her so much and call me no matter what you want but I will do anything just to get her back even if it takes up killing all those people who's behind her tears. I've hurt her and I can't bare seeing her in pain, the way she looked at me that night and how she gave me the chance to explain my side, it fvcking hurts to think that she really loves me and despite she felt that I betrayed her, she still listened to me— I would never forgive myself for making her cry.

"Thank you for everything, Cullen but let's end this."

I'm so sorry, Athira. It was never really my intention to hurt you, even though you told me that you trusted me, it still freaking hurts me to the point that I still lose you. My beloved Athira, you're the only person who helped me to conquer my fear and that is to accept the fact that my mother is already gone. Thank you for always being there especially when I needed you the most, whatever happens I promise I will bring back your trust towards me. I love you so much.

"Go get Mina, I fvcking need her right now." After I told them this Liam and Nick immediately gave me a disagreement tone, "Cullen, we can still talk in a proper way. We don't need to include Mina here." Exclaimed by Liam while being worried, and Nick also talked back by saying "Bro, you're just mad. We can still think of something else without—" Before he could finish what he was about to say, I felt myself raged up because of anger and annoyance and I didn't even cared shouting at them, "I don't fvcking care, if I tell you to bring her to me, bring her to me! Since when did you even cared to others, huh?! Don't act like both of you are clean, wag niyo akong ginagago!"

And just like that they both didn't talked back again,

"Hey Jaxith, I need you to get Zafimina Corpuz and bring her here in ***** as soon as possible. Cullen's furious."

Fast Forward.

The moment Mina arrived she kept on telling this to me while clinging into my arms "Cullen babe, tell them to let me out this instant," I can't help but to feel enraged because of what she did and without any warning I felt myself pushing her harshly away from me,

"Explain this fvcking post of yours and why the heck did you kissed me that day!" Instead of feeling intimidated, she only gave me a scornful look and slowly stood up while walking into me, "I told you already, I did that because I love you. And I know that you still love me. Cullen let's get back together, I've missed you, I've missed us."

"I've missed us? Fvck, I have a girlfriend Mina! what do you fvcking mean us, we're already long done!" After I shouted at her, she still gained the courage to go to me and cling into my arms while crying if I was that old Cullen, I will be easily fooled by those tears and flowery words of yours Mina,"Cullen, no please."

"Mahal din kita, Cullen. Always keep that in your mind, okay?"

All of a sudden, I remembered seeing how Athira cried that night, how she felt really betrayed by the person she loves and how she still gave him a chance to speak his side and still gained the courage to tell him how she loves him. And just like that I felt myself being infuriated more and without any warning I saw her lying on the floor as a result of the strength of my palm that landed on her face, "What the fvck?! Because of you I lose Athira, because of you I will never ever gonna see her again, because of you I hurt her and made her felt betrayed, because of you I will no longer have the chance to tell Athira how much I fvcking love her!"

"Go find Athira and explain everything to her word by word without missing any parts because if you don't you won't like what I would do to you." After I told her this she was just crying the whole time and instead of giving me a good answer, she answered me something that ruined my temper more "No, Cullen! I'm the one you love, not her! I love you too Cullen, how many times do you want me to tell you those four fvcking words just to make you come back to me again, huh?!"

"I already gave you a chance but you missed it, All of you kill her this instant. I'm not interested to have an another problem in my life," The moment I finished commanding this, I directly heard a loud gunshot. Just like what I have said, I would do anything just to have you back my love, even if it will take to killing everyone who are the cause of your tears.

"Where is Haigh and V?" After I asked this both Nick and Liam were hesitant to give me an answer and because of that I didn't waited for an answer from them but instead, "Tell them I forgive them and that I'm thankful because they informed Athira about it which only shows that they truly care for Athira."

"Cullen, where are you going?" Jameson asked worriedly and he's also under our organization. He's actually the newest recruited member, who was recruited last two years ago. Because of his good skills in shooting a gun in long range, he was acquired.

"I'l be right back, don't follow me." He looked like he wanted to answer me back but he chose not to and gave me a nod as his answer. Without any hesitation, I went to my car and started it's engine.

I don't know but my instincts kept on telling me that there's a huge possibility that Athira might be in that garden because she loves places that are quiet and peaceful whenever she feels down so maybe she's there. I've missed her so much and I badly want to see her and gave her an embrace. I love her so much.

The moment I arrived in the garden I hurriedly went to the large tree where I first saw her singing a song and instead of seeing her there I saw a camera there. This is new and I know that this was placed here just before I arrived because It's not soaking wet especially that it just rained last night and without thinking twice, i opened it

"Hi Cullen, do you remember the day when you asked me to sing you the song I was singing in our first met? I actually want to sing it to you personally but I can't for some reasons haha, so I'll just sing it you here." After she told this, she began singing while trying her best to stop her tears from falling and I can't help myself but to cry, again. I miss you, Athira. I will never get tired of telling you how much I love you.

And I know your warmth is
The closest to reality, the flowers that you picked for me
Reaching for your hand

Athira, thank you for letting me hear those beautiful voice of yours even through clip. I'm really sorry for everything. I felt myself crying even more while still watching her sing.

From this lonesome garden
Want to give you a flower
Reminding me of you
To give you all and take this foolish mask off

No matter what I do, everything still reminds me of you. I missed you so much, Athira. I missed hearing your voice, I missed your beautiful smile and I've missed hearing your laughs. I've missed being with you. I want you back between my arms. For god's sake, I don't know what I would do now especially that I've lost you.

"This will be your last time to hear me sing this song, di nga lang live haha. I'm going to say goodbye to you here, thank you  for everything, Thank you for all the beautiful memories you gave me, please be happy and I love you."

*****

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