Sophie's pain -True story-

Started

When i wrote the word started down, i was looking at it quietly, staring and reading it fifty times over and thinking.. if something starts... there must also be a ending you might think. Those two words belong together - start - end.

But why does it feels that any ending of this story we are being a part of will take a long breath or even never will take place at all. sometimes desperation takes on...

A beginning without an ending.....

Why does sometimes all optimism has disappeared, makes you just hold your breath and feel hopeless, thinking there's no way out of this?

Our pain, our family, what we have been through and still going every day I hope you' ll all never have to go through it. Especially the feeling for a mother like me that i can do absolutely nothing to help my own child with the pain and all the consequences following from her pain.The path she has to walk on will be harder and harder each day. A child of 14 is hopefull and no worries for the future , a child of 16 is growing soon to be a young adult with future thinking as main goal. How she's gonna make it in the 'real' world.

- oct 2012 -

The day in okt when my beautiful, bright, funny, lovely daughter of 14 years old changed into a white pailed looking, unconcentrated, said, filled with problems teenager. But at that time we didn't know this so it was just a normal day in the Fall of 2012.

Sophie was attending school at second grade Highschool. She was a very enthousiastic student attending her most favorate class, PEclass. Always first of the girls at running and blowing every one away in her serieusly taking place in teamsports. Sports was her life. Thats why its not strange she's a member of one of the highest teams of Field Hockeyclub in her town village. So when the gymteacher put up a game together to get the ball first she was seriously trying to beat the other girl.

Running towards one another to get the ball they unfortunately crashed into another with heads-on. Sophie fell down and even was short time of minutes unconscience after the crash.The gymteacher asked her what happened but she didn't know (she still doesnt know but heard the story from other students). After some check questions like whats your name, how old are you and where you live she got back on her feet. She knew all answers to the questions so nothing wrong according to the teacher and lets go on with class.

She had a headache, scratch on her nose and thick lip but further nothing damaging to see.

By the time she was home she had a rather bad headache. Some pills and going to bed is mostly the way to go so thats what she did.

Next day however she woke up with even more headache so she stayed home that day. The headache was like a bouncing knock on the front of her head on both sides above her eyes. By the thought of frontal impact it most probably was a concussion.

Just google it and you'll find;

After concussion person should rest for few days untill headache decreases.

So she did. But it didnt seem to get any better so after day 5 we went to her docter. The docter also thought of minor concussion and told us that nowadays you'll have to get on with everything and not lie down to heal. That was in the old days that they lie in bed for 6 weeks. Not necessary, just go do everything she said.

So she did. with full headache she went to school and to her hockeytraining.

Well you can guess that was stupidest idea ever and I still beat myself up for not letting her lie down for 6 weeks. What if i had forbidden her to go to school? Put her in bed for rest. Maybe she would have no pain at all.

No pain... imagine that.....a normal life.....just being 14.....