Burdens(Erehisu)

Chapter 24

Gently mopping the surface of the plate with a thin towel in his hand, Jean stared into the clean water in the sink. The crystal clean water rocked gently in the sink as the Ackerman swirled the water with her palm; the surface of the water reflected shining sparkles from the dying light bulb attached to the ceiling. When the white sparkles pulled Jean back into his senses, He asked, "Did you put in dish soap?"

"Oh, crap!" Mikasa hissed at herself as she realized that she washed the dishes without soap for the entire time.

Shaking his head, Jean waved a quick hand at Mikasa to let her know that he's looking for it and that she should stay put. Peaking the top and bottom, left and right of the confined, suffocated, tiny kitchen, Jean set his eyes on a rusted wooden cabinet door. "Why don't you put everything back into the sink?" Jean knew Mikasa was distracted, and as he opened the cabinet door, he asked, "What are you thinking?"

One by one, Mikasa carefully inserted the cold dried plates and bowls into the lukewarm water. Then, vertically turning the knob inward, she let the fresh hot water run its course and immersed her hand in the water. "I'm trying my best to let go of him." Jean shot his head around to look at the Ackerman in the eyes with pure surprise. Then, lowering his gaze, Jean asked carefully. "So, you have come to terms with yourself?"

Jean then stood up, faced her, and walked towards the sink with a glass bottle in his hand that contained the dish soap. Avoiding his eyes, Mikasa softly said, "After the conversation with Historia in the forest," pausing, Mikasa stared into the bright stars in the night sky. "I think it's the best for both Eren and me if I move on."

Without looking, Jean patiently waited for her to continue as he poured the soap into the water. As the sticky, thick, blue substance makes contact with the warm water, Mikasa watched the thick substance slowly dissolve into nothingness. More softly this time, Mikasa said, "Watching Historia, I've realized I don't know Eren. That I've only been serving a fake image of him--a self inserted Eren. I don't think Eren would want that. And, maybe that's why he has been indifferent towards me for all this time."

"Alright, what do you mean by indifferent?" Jean asked.

Feeling defeated, Mikasa sighed out loud. "Let's just say that I'm just a mother figure in his eyes."

Looking into her dark grey eyes, Jean continued. "And are you okay with that?"

Staring back at Jean, Mikasa stated firmly. "I'm doing this for myself."

Jean stared at her, then looked back at the water, swirled it with his hand; seeing the white bubbles begin to form, Jean started washing. Seeing a soft but proud smile on his face, Mikasa asked, "Want me to help you?"

"Please do," Jean said as he nodded.

Taking the slippery plate handed by Jean, rinsing it with warm water, Mikasa softly called out. "Hey, Jean. Thank you for being here with me."

===

"So, how did you get out?"

Historia calmly listened to Eren's heartbeat as she laid on his chest. Taking in Eren's question, the Historia said, "After fending off some myself, I charged in to help Hange. Pausing, the blonde said with guilt. "But, ultimately, in the end, Hange died because of me, and Mikasa had to get me out."

Historia's clear distress caused Eren to bring her guilt upon himself. And, with his hand, Eren gently brushed her golden hair to try to make her feel at ease. Feeling Eren's fingers running through her hair leisurely, loving the care and gentleness of his touch, Historia clinched onto Eren more tightly as she buried her face into his chest under the warmth of the blanket. "What will happen after we get back?" Historia muffled in his chest.

The excursion to Hizuru and its results have clearly demonstrated that the world doesn't pity the Eldians on the Island. Eren foresaw it from the glimpse of his future memories. But, still, Eren desperately hoped for a different outcome. Going by the cascade of events played out thus far, however, the eventual trip to Marley and allying with the 'Association to Protect the Subjects of Ymir' seems to be not worth it in his eyes anymore. Even then, Eren still wanted to commit to the events that are going to unfold to justify his own actions later on. Eren wanted to cultivate his hatred towards the outside world that restricted his freedom. His people's freedom.

It's the only way.

Historia quietly watched Eren as he stared into emptiness, contemplating in his head. Gazing into his warm, green eyes, Historia knew that he was also fighting a great dilemma. Then, wanting to comfort Eren, Historia called out. "Eren, no matter what, I'll always be there with you."

Seeing Historia's determined gaze, Eren realized she was studying him with great care. Then, returning the gaze into her blue eyes, Eren reminiscent of the fact she's the only person that has ever understood him and stood by his side; Eren then smirked playfully back at her. "Of course."

===

Armin glared at Jean and Eren as the two revealed Prince Katsu's true intentions. After Eren unraveled his devised countermeasures, Armin could only silently obey him. Only once in a while, Armin cut into the discussion to try and mitigate the damage that Eren was going to inflict on Hizuru--especially the civilians.

"In anyhow, it's important that you inflict massive damage on the morals of this so-called nation," Eren stated coldly as he watched some of the scout's demoralized state. Then, lowering his voice, Eren threatened. "By any means necessary because we're in a race against time."