Snapes Love Affair

Chapter 28: Grieving

Trigger warning. This whole chapter will be pretty heavy with alcohol and trauma. You are more then welcome to skip if you would like but I promise you, it has a happy ending!
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My heart sank as I layed in my bed with my legs to my chest. The world was crumbling around me and I had no one their to hold onto for comfort. The last of my family, and one was taken from me. I felt awful for the way I had spoken to him last night. If I knew it would be the last I would have held onto him for dear life. My grandparents ment absolutely everything to me. The rest of my family dissapeared before I was born. Knowing next would be my grandma killed me. Soon enough I would be all alone. No one to visit on holidays. Then I started crying harder at the thought of not seeing them at my wedding, or them meeting their first great grandchild. Everything soon became overwhelming and I realized I was hyperventilating, unable to breath or speak.

The stone on my night table lit up accentuating my room. I was mid freakout and was unable to move, breath or think. In that moment I felt like I was going to die from lack of control. Soon after, everything went dark but I was still very awake. I let out a loud scream as the tears fell harder and harder onto my chest. The stone lit up again, this time longer then before, but my body was clenched together. Suddenly my door flung open revealing my grandma. She ran over to me and held me tightly in her arms, crying with me. I tried so hard to break out of my panic, but was unable to do so. My body started to jerk, hands and legs shaking. My grandma started crying harder at my light and held tighter trying to calm me down.

"Its okay, it's okay. I'm here sweetheart, Grammys right here."

I slightly opend my lips and between cries I said

"But grandpa isn't."

And with that i fell back into a panic. One worse then before. She tried to pry my body apart to help me relax but again, was unable to. Instead, she layed beside me and cradled me in her arms. The stone lit up again, this time she noticed it and picked it up. She quickly realized what it was and set it back down not wanting to interfere with my personal belongings.

A few hours went by with no sleep. My eyes were heavy and my body ached. My grandma had fallen asleep beside me. Finally able to decently move, I get up and gently put my blanket around her before leaving the room. The best thing right now would be water, but instead I got a big glass of whiskey. Quickly I gulped it and re filled my glass. In this moment I didn't care if I was drunk or got hit by a buss. I just wanted to feel numb. I wanted the world to dissipate around me.

No

I wanted Severus. I need him right now. I pour another glass after finishing that one to try and weave Severus out of my mind. He is bussy and cant be here so their is no use in dwelling on the idea.

After another glass I started feeling very woozy and nauseous. This is not how I thought Christmas would be like.
I stumble through the kitchen into the living room before falling onto the couch. I looked over to the corner of my room were my grandpa layed unconscious a few hours prior to now. Instantly tears streamed from my face again. I get back up, grab the bottle of whiskey and walk out the front door for a walk. Their was no doubt that I was visibly gone from my body. I was a walking bag of skeleton at this point and could really care less. I walked past the house full of memories and shouted out "FUCK YOU." It was only around 5 am, and neighbors quickly came running outside. I became flushed with embarrassment as they looked at me almost worried. It was no doubt they knew who I was, but this is a sight never seen before.

After a few hours had passed by, I was starting to sober up some. But each time I felt decent I chugged more in attempt to keep this feeling away as long as possible. I chug the rest of the bottle then look at my once full, now empty bottle of alcohol. At this point I had no clue where I was or if I was even in the same town again. I walked, sometimes ran and walked again never stopping. Not even for a second. I was already hammered and could barely make out a car from a house. In the distance I could hear a familiar voice heading towards me. With the state I was in, I couldn't make out who it was. All I knew is that it was familiar.