Dear Diary,
Today I had fun, unlike all my days. I'll start at the beginning.
In the morning ~
I wake up reluctantly. I would have prefered to sleep my whole life rather than go to school and face life. I always dress asleep and come out of my room to get ready. I hope my mother is sleeping.
Unfortunately no. Karine, my mother, is sitting at the table drinking her coffee. It even looks like she was waiting for me.
-Nath be nice and go get my cigarettes there.
-But Mom-
Paf
She just hit me again. I spit some blood into my hand and massage my cheek.
-There is no (but) or (mom).
-Yes Mam...
go to take her cigarettes which were only 2 meters away from her, while she got up to hit me and I am further away from this place. What a motherfucker. At least my father is kind to him. However, he drowned while fishing with me 9 years ago. I was 6 years old at this event. If you know math you should know that I am 15 years old. Karine thinks that I am the cause of his death. Maybe that's why she started beating me up for no good reason. I have bruises and black eyes very often.
I take my bag and go back to my room to take my hunting knife. I pull it out from under my pillow and head for the bathroom. I lock myself inside and look at myself in the mirror. I always look bad because of my mother. My blonde hair is messy and a few strands cover my eyes. My eyes are not the same. The left is green and the right is red. I take my hunting knife, which is all I have left of my father, and roll up my left sleeve. I start to scrape my skin, rubbing my blade roughly on my forearm. Small crumbs from my skin fall into the sink. It's like parmesan, but more disgusting. It heats up a lot and that's what makes me feel good. I start to get more serious and I get more or less deep lines of each other. 1 ... 4 ... 7 ... 14 lines.
I quit otherwise I will be late for class. I run the tap water over my left forearm, which hurts a lot, but I love the feeling. I see the flowing water turn reddish. I put on a bandage, put the sleeve of my sweater over it, clean my knife to put it in my bag and go towards school, tumbling down the stairs so that my mother leaves me alone.
First lesson, French
Second lesson, Geography
Third lesson, Math
Midday
I walk over to the cafeteria and sit down at the rejections table. There are 3 of us at this table and we eat separately as far as possible without ever speaking to each other. I eat peacefully, for once no one comes to piss me off. When I have finished I get up and go to throw my trash in the trash. I always have my bag with me and my lunch box. I throw my things away and when I was about to leave, I ran into the trio of pissers. Not wanting to be intimidated once again for my eyes, I start walking faster to reach the hallways. I want to get out of this establishment as quickly as possible. To get out I still need to go through 3 corridors.
Since I have no luck in life and life is shit. The three idiots have caught up with me. I try to run away, but one blocks my way.
-There, there ... Nath the weirdo would like to go somewhere maybe?
-Let me go. I shouted, throwing my lunchbox in his face.
The one who was blocking my way and who had received my little one, punches me in the stomach. I fold in two to the pain, in front of the trio laughing at my suffering. The person behind me kicks me which made me fall since I was still bent over myself. I collapse face down on the dirty school floor. The three teenagers take my bag, which had fallen when I threw my lunch box. He empties the contents of my bag on me, laughing.
-That's all you deserve motherfucker.
The 3 move away as I see my knife on the ground near me. Being in a deep rage I grab the hunting knife and get up. I hold my knife in my right hand and start to walk. My head is tilted to the left side which lets my strands of blond hair fall in front of my green eye. You can only see my red eye full of rage. Still with my head bowed, I start running towards the three idiots who still haven't noticed me. They are near the intersection of the hallway with the next one, but I am already behind them. I jump on the middle one stabbing him in the back of the neck. I ran into him while he spurts blood everywhere and especially on me. I unleash my rage on him by giving him 3 more blows in the back. My hand is covered in blood. My blonde hair has red spots and I have another blood spot on the edge of my mouth.
I stand up with my arms limp and my right hand still holding my knife. I lick the blood that is on the edge of my mouth and smile oddly. I look around and the other two are still there. One recoils, trembling with fear. The other cannot move, petrified by fear, he trembles in place. Is he trying to make my job easier? I turn to the one who steps back with my wonderful, bizarre smile. Having seen that I was looking at him, he tries to escape. Unfortunately for him, I was already flying in his direction. At the same time as I knock him down, I stab him in his chest. Seeing that he is still alive I slit his throat while saying little sweet words.
-Have sweet dreams.
The blood stains me even more than I already am.
When I turn to my last target I notice that he was no longer there. I look down the hall and see him running for his life. (That's the case to say). Seeing that I can't catch up with him, I throw my knife across the hallway. It lands directly in his head. The body falls forward as I walk down the hall with a pool of blood. I allow myself to take the knife from my victim's head and stare at him.
What did I just do ?! The police will take me away. Fortunately nobody saw the scene, I must surely still have time to escape. On the other hand, I am wondering about something. It's weird ... I've never felt like this before. I felt happy alive. I want to start over, even if it's trying. I smile, holding the knife that allowed me to have fun. A drop of blood is dripping from one of my strands of blonde and red hair. The red drop passes in front of my face before hitting the ground.
Which brings me back from my thoughts.
I put on the hood of my black hoodie and hide my knife in my sleeve. I run towards the exit of school smiling like a child.
~ now
That's why I found myself in a forest hiding with a notepad and pencil that I found on the way. It's time to start my new life. I hope that soon nobody will see me like what happened today. Since I have acts that I intend to redo several times.
Nath
