Warm Bodies: Awakening

Hooked to the Machine

Julie woke with a start, jerking back against Nora, who'd fallen asleep with her on the uncomfortable lobby couch. The fluorescent light above them gave a brief flicker, and she noticed that night had fallen outside. Rubbing her scratchy eyes, she looked towards the door. It was unguarded.

She slowly rose from the couch, trying not to disturb her friend. A tiny frown creased Nora's forehead, but she didn't wake. Julie left her and walked softly to the door.

Gingerly she pulled it open an inch or two, just enough to scan the hallway ahead. The cots were still there, but many of the soldiers had gone. Only a few remained, and they seemed to be sleeping.

Perfect, she thought. She pushed the door open and closed it gently behind her, then tiptoed down the hall. No-one moved, and she thought briefly back to when she'd sneaked past R on the plane, when he seemed completely oblivious to the world around him in the cockpit. He hadn't noticed her at all, and it was so unlike him that she'd been tempted to walk up and see what he was doing. A little voice had warned her not to. That she might not like what she saw.

God, she had to see him. Which room was he in? She remembered the doctor at the end of the hall, and aimed for it, peeking in a couple of windowed doors along the way. She saw a room where a bunch of people lay in cots, some still in scrubs. Doctors, nurses, who'd obvious worked themselves to exhaustion.

Finally she reached the last door on the left. There was no window, so she had no way to judge if it was the right door, but it felt like she should go through, so she did. The door opened to a much bigger room, with a couple of beds wired up with, it seemed, every device they could find. The improvised ICU. The lighting was dimmed, and against the far wall monitors blinked and beeped around the figure in the only occupied bed.

Oh god. Julie gave an involuntary cry, raising her hands to her mouth as she approached him. R lay on the bed, surrounded by machinery. Lost in a network of wires and tubes running from the machines, under the thin sheet that covered his pale body, under the yellowed bandages taped to his chest, to sensors taped everywhere there was space. Bags of fluids hung suspended at the side of the bed, feeding blood and saline to his body through tubes going through an ugly shunt in his neck, and down to a needle in his arm.

The worst was the ventilator. Big plastic tubes led from the machine to a thin mouthpiece, strapped and taped into his mouth. The tubes jerked, and she watched as his chest rose, then fell, over and over.

A tear spilled down her face as she took it all in at his side, feeling helpless. She wanted to gather him up, hold him, stir him back to life, but couldn't, for fear of disturbing some vital connection to the machines. He looked trapped, ensnared by some hungry creature of twisted tubes and wire tendrils. It was horrific, and somehow he looked worse now to Julie than he had as an animated corpse. His skin wasn't as grey, his eyes weren't as sunken and bruised, but he didn't feel... here.

"R..." she finally whispered, reaching over to stroke the hair from his forehead, accidentally brushing a sensor fixed there. Her left hand sought his own, and she enfolded it, lacing her fingers through his. They were cool against her skin.

Julie scanned his slack features for any flicker of consciousness, but he remained absolutely still, only his chest rose and fell shallowly with each jerk of the ventilator. It was strange to be this close to him, and not have him react to her, to watch her without blinking in that intensely focused way. She gently traced his eyebrow with her thumb, then brushed down along his cheek, marveling at the feel of his skin.

"We have to keep him under," said a man behind her, and she jumped, startled.

The voice came from behind a desk sitting in shadow against the opposite wall. Slowly, she realized it was the bearded doctor from the hall, the one who had seemed so excited when she'd seen him in the hallway. He stood from his seat and walked over to stand at the foot of the bed. His hands, thickly knuckled, gripped the top bar firmly.

He smiled lightly at her, with weary brown eyes creased in laugh lines, then looked down at R.

Julie continued to stare at him, trying to work out if she'd ever met him before or seen him around their little city. His hair was brown and grey and thick and he wore a blue polo under the white coat. There was a small scar running down his right jaw line, healed long ago it looked like. She didn't remember him.

He spoke softly, obviously tired, his voice thready with air, "We have him attached to an ECMO. Need to keep him under while he's on it."

ECMO? She scanned all of the machines, trying to figure out which one it was.

He caught her unasked question, "It helps to pump blood, clean it, oxygenate it. His cardiac muscle was damaged, so it needs time to rest and heal."

Julie's face fell and she stared down at R's chest, the black hole yawning in her gut again. The cardiac muscle... the heart. Her fault.

The doctor was oblivious, "It's the only one we have actually, and we're damn lucky we had one. I don't think he would have made it otherwise."

She nodded, tears threatening, her eyes downcast. She squeezed R's hand tightly.

"It was the best, and very last medical salvage I ever led," he smirked, and absentmindedly stroked the scar on his jaw, then finally seemed to recognize the effect he was having. "Geez, I'm sorry. Rambling here, and it's not helping." He extended his hand, "I'm Stephen. You're Julie right?"

Nodding, she took his hand and gave it a small shake, then held him for a moment, realizing this man was the reason R was still alive.

"Thank you," she said earnestly, then let his hand go.

"You're welcome. I didn't do the surgery though, that was Dan. He was a cardiologist at Temple before this all went down, came to this city to see his family and got stuck here. Damn lucky that happened too." Stephen shook his head and laughed, "Sorry, I'm still rambling. I'm just... we're all... kinda excited." At the last word he tilted his head towards R's prone form.

Julie turned to look at R and nodded slowly. "Yeah," she said, her voice quiet. She was thrilled that the impossible seemed to be happening, but right now, all she wanted was R to come back, so she could look into those new blue eyes of his and see him smile again.

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked, much more calmly than she felt.

Please say yes, please say yes. Everything was so peaceful right now, it had to be okay.

"We did everything we could. The bullet wounds were fairly easy, but the penetration trauma was not. Couldn't risk cracking him open, we just don't have the blood reserves for that, so Dan had to do some fancy work with the ECMO, calm his heart down a bit, and work with a scope and a long clamp. Genius."

He paused, and looked a little sheepish, "You were looking for a yes or no weren't you."

"Kinda, yeah."

"Can't really give one, I'm sorry. He's not out of the woods yet. The machine's taking the load off his lungs and heart, but we have to give him some time, then try to see if he's healed enough to take it back on himself. There's always a risk with any kind of bypass though, that's the problem. Particularly in this setup."

Julie nodded, brushing away a tear with her thumb.

Stephen watched her, but didn't say anything. She appreciated that. She really didn't want to try to explain why she was so affected by the fate of one zombie turned living. There was too much she didn't understand anyway, and trying to say what she thought truly caused this change out loud sounded terribly... corny.

And wonderful.

She smiled, despite R's still form, despite the guilt and dread. Slowly she leaned over R and kissed his forehead, lingering for a moment to rest her head against his. It felt good.

"I'm here R," she whispered, and squeezed his hand.

His fingers stayed limp in her own.

She sighed, suddenly very tired, and stood up. The motion made her head swim, and she raised her free hand to her face. "Whoa..."

"Hey, you okay?" Stephen asked.

"Yeah, just got a little... whoa..." Shaking her head at his concern, the room suddenly lurched alarmingly. Everything in view pitched violently forward - R, the monster machines ensnaring him, the dim fluorescent lights above - then she was free falling in slow motion, idly wondering if her head would crack open when she hit the floor.