Fresh Meat

Grey Skies

The grey rain slapped against my window quietly, making a muted tapping noise that was only audible when intently focused upon. The precipitation wasn't the color gray like the hue between white and black, but the grey that one would associate with lifelessness. It contained a wishy-washy emotion that screamed boredom, as if the rain was somehow sick of sliding down the window pane and was ready to move on. I couldn't tell if that's exactly how the rain was feeling, but I knew for sure that's how I was.

After only one week of college I was already weary of it. When I had started the applying process last winter, I had so many aspirations of where I wanted to go. Princeton was at the top of the list, followed by names like Stanford, Northwestern, and Notre Dame--basically anything prestigious enough to give me an excuse to leave Minnesota. Sure, the Twin Cities had a lot to offer, but not enough to keep me from escaping. However, it turned out I also lacked enough talent to actually leave, as one by one the different schools began mailing in their rejections.

With all of my dreams of breaking out (for lack of a better word) shattered, my only hope was to apply to a school within a reasonable driving distance, which is how I ended up in Wisconsin. And by Wisconsin, I don't mean Madison, Green Bay, or Milwaukee--I'm referring to Hudson. Town of 15,000, right on the lovely banks of the St. Croix River and less than 30 miles from the Minneapolis/St. Paul metropolitan area. I wanted to be farther away, much farther away, but the University of Wisconsin-Hudson was the only school that offered a Sociology program. Plus, for the cost of tuition and its employment rates after college, it was basically a crime not to attend.

So that's how I ended up at the University of Wisconsin-Hudson, or UWH for short. The campus wasn't too fascinating, with its outdated brick buildings painting the scenery with spots of red and the lumbering clock tower unfortunately being off by half an hour. Orientation week was pretty lackluster too, with our groups meeting for almost eight hours a day. My crew was assembled of kids destined to become middle school band directors, making my life fairly miserable. The constant banter of classical and modern composers was unsurprisingly loathsome. I had yet to find anything to appreciate about the college experience.

That's why I sat completely alone in my dorm room, staring at the rain as it was softly flung onto my window pane. Both of us were spiritless, drained of any affection. From my sixth-story view I watched the students below me rush impatiently, pushing around each other to make it to their first classes of the year. I didn't understand their youthful vigor; why would they be eager to sit down in some slightly-used plastic chairs and listen to professors ramble uselessly on. I didn't think I was being pessimistic but instead unpleasantly blunt. Maybe it was my lack of a filter that made my personality seem a little bitter.

Wasting no more time contemplating life while staring out into the rain, I clicked into my online class and let the Zoom call begin. Luckily I only had two classes to attend today, with the others starting tomorrow. All of them were somehow communications-based, meaning they would probably be laidback these first few weeks. We'd discuss riveting topics like how two people talk with each other and what happens when you argue with a friend. My degree would eventually get interesting, but until then I felt it was fair to tune it out, that's why I muted myself and turned off the camera before the professor even had a chance to see me. Convinced I had better things to do then attend my "Introduction to Human Communications: COM 112" class, I grabbed my phone and mindlessly scrolled along.

Browsing through my notifications, I was surprised to find a message from Jorie, one of my orientation leaders. Tapping it, I discovered that she had sent me a link to an event on campus. I was going to ignore it, but seeing I had nothing better to do I decided to investigate.

"Fall Organization Convention?" I mumbled to myself. Curiosity quickly grabbed my finger and guided it to the link, opening up a tab on my web. It brought me to a campus website, advertising a conference for various UWH groups and student bodies to promote themselves to new students. I couldn't exactly tell if Jorie had sent me the list because it was her responsibility as an orientation leader or because she had noticed I was the only one who didn't participate in the group activities, but either way I was strangely intrigued by the invite.

Before I could think about it much longer, my phone violently vibrated in my hand. Unprepared for the sudden movement, I accidentally let it fly out of my hands and unto the desk in front of me. With a look of irritation plastered across my face, I picked my phone back up and accepted the call.

"Hello?"

"Nicholas! It's about time."

"What do you mean 'It's about time'?" I sighed, leaning back in my chair.

"What do you mean 'What do you mean'?"

"We could play this little repetition game all day long if we wanted."

"Don't be such a snark," my mother replied. "Sometimes I think you took too much from my side."

"I'd agree with that."

"Hey!" she snapped, but I could tell by her tone she had understood I was joking. "That's not why I called--you haven't called me back at all."

"I've been kind of busy," I responded. "orientation week and all."

"You make a good point," her reply was quick. "But you have to make time for your mother. She's a lonely woman now that you're off to college."

"A lonely woman all right. Too bad her husband, other son, and dog can't fix that issue."

"You know what I mean."

The two of us had always had a unique connection, something I didn't think I was ready to admit until I'd slept in the dorm for the first time. I'd known this separation was going to be hard for her, but I had no idea it would be such a struggle for me too. Less than 30 minutes away and somehow I felt mildly nauseous sick every time I even thought about home.

Sensing I would need to be the one to end the awkward silence, I delicately picked the conversation up again.

"You know, if you ever really need to see me we can always just meet in the middle. I think T-Bone would really enjoy the trails around here"

"Or I can just drive over to campus, the dog might want to see your room." I cringed a little in response to that, peering nervously over my shoulder at the stack of boxes still waiting to be emptied. Although I hadn't necessarily participated in all the orientation events, I had attended them, which had unintentionally left my room in a state of disarray.

"Maybe a little later in the year," I countered. "Now might not be the best time."

"Have your classes started yet?"

"In one right now--online at least."

"Nick!" my mother took a dramatic breath of air. "You know you're paying for this education, right?"

"But I was just replying to a call from my lovely mother." My mockingly innocent tone conveyed my message clearly.

"Well, at least you still have your priorities straight," my mother cynically recovered. "Anyway, I'll let you go. Enjoy your class."

"Thanks, mom."

"Promise you'll call me back later?"

"Of course," I grumbled a little bit under my breath, cautious to make sure she wouldn't hear it.

"Oh, and Nick, one more thing."

"Yeah."

"Make sure to join an extracurricular or two. Getting involved will help you meet some people."

That comment caught me a little off guard, the coincidence of her statement and the invite unusual.

"Ok...yeah I'll look into that."

"I'll make sure you will," she added. "Alright, talk to you soon!"

"Sounds good, bye."

"Love you."

She hung up before I could reply, leaving me with the tiniest feeling of guilt. In response to her wishes, and a curiosity blooming inside my gut that I wasn't allowing myself to admit, I responded back to the invite on my phone. After I'd typed in my contact information, a separate screen gave me an approval before sending me back to the homepage. Putting my phone down, I flipped my camera on and decided to tune in to class.