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( ⚠️ trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and description of self harm.)









Jaehyun walked around the office. Baekhyun had left over an hour ago. He left Jaehyun with pain in his heart. Jaehyun sat back down on Johnny's desk. He pulled out his phone and pressed a number. 

Jaehyun places the phone by his ear and listens to the rings. It didn't take long for Jaehyun to hear someone else on the other line. 

"Hello Jaehyun, how may I help you?" A woman's voice as soft as a cloud and as sweet as candy answered. 

"Yes Ms.kim I need to know when I can meet you?" Jaehyun asked. He wiped his eyes, he couldn't get those sticking memories out of his head. No matter what he tried he couldn't stop remembering. 

"Is there something wrong mr.Jung? Do you need me to come over right now?!" The woman clearly got scared for Jaehyun, concern is laced in her tone. Jaehyun could sense it.

"No." He lied through teeth. "I just wanted to tell you how awesome life is. I really feel better after going to counseling with you." Jaehyun began to play with the hem of his jersey shirt that he now had on.

"That's amazing to hear. Just remember if something seems too heavy of a burden don't hesitate to call me. I'm always here." The woman's voice sweet as honey said to a weary Jaehyun.

Don't ask him why he lied, truth be told he doesn't have a clue. But what he did know is that he is tired of being a burden on everyone. He was a burden on his parents, and a burden on Taeyong, well that's what he feels.

"I know ha...have a nice night." Jaehyun hurriedly pressed the hang up button. He got up out of the chair. He made his way to his medicine cabinet. "Fluoxetine" Jaehyun grabbed the medicine and placed a pill in his hand. He grabbed a bottle of water from the stock under the cabinet. 

Jaehyun downed the water and pill. But his head didn't stop spinning. He had a hard time standing, the voices of his past getting louder and louder. He stood up and grabbed another pill, Xanax. He took that one just like he had just done the first pill.

Jaehyun started to feel nauseous, he gripped his shoulder as he started to feel that unbearable pain in it, just like he did all of those years ago. "Stop it, leave me alone!" He had his hands in his hair as he looked down. His whole being was shaken to the core. Tears slipped past his  brown eyes. 

Although everything was physically still, Jaehyun felt the world shaking over and over. It was like an earthquake that wouldn't stop. "I know what I need to do." He got up and ran to his kitchen. 

Jaehyun needed to be relinquished from this pain. So he did the method that was most frowned upon, he grabbed a knife.  Those memories taunting him just made the decision easier.

"Oh fuck!" Jaehyun screamed out. He threw the knife with blood in it in the sink while the red liquid slid down his arm. "What did I just do?" Jaehyun asked himself but at least he didn't hear those pesky voices. 

Jaehyun quickly gets up and cleans the knife. He ran through the house to clean up his cut before Johnny got home. He knows how the older gets and he doesn't want to be pitied or yelled at. 

He put his arm under water and washed the blazing cut. After he did that he went to disinfect it, however he stopped in his tracks when he heard his door open and a sack hit something, most likely the table.

Jaehyun looked at the clock. It couldn't be Johnny who's home. The older basically get off at the same time everyday. "Jaehyun, where are you? I got dinner. I was thinking we should have a picnic right in the middle of our big ass living room."

Jaehyun heard Johnny's voice boom. It was getting closer and jaehyun still hasn't wrapped up his cut. He steadily pressed the cleansing pad on his arm, wincing ever so lightly.

"Jaehyun, really where are you?" Johnny's voice was so close that jaehyun bet that his heavy breathing could be heard.  

Jaehyun panicked and started to frantically wrap his wound. "Jaehyun there you are." Johnny flicked on the light to see Jaehyun rapping his arm. 

Jaehyun also froze like a deer in headlights which made it obvious that something was wrong. "What did you do?" Johnny asked after getting over his shock. 

"I...I"

"You didn't do what I think you did, did you?" Johnny was livid on the inside, but on the outside he showed stale emotions. "Tell me I'm not mad." He clearly is. He isn't mad a Jaehyun, he's mad for his over. He shouldn't have to go through this alone.

Jaehyun looked down at the ground. He quickly wiped his face. "I did. I'm sorry I just couldn't take the voices." Jaehyun let out soft cries. "Please don't be mad."

Johnny walked over and wrapped his arms around Jaehyun. "I'm not mad. Shh don't cry." Johnny kissed the fluffy brown hair of Jaehyun. "I just want you to know that you don't have to struggle through this alone. I'm always here."

Jaehyun laughed a little bit at Johnny. "I know." Jaehyun took in that intoxicating scent of the older. No matter how much he has tried Jaehyun could never not miss the scent of mature cinnamon and old spice.

"Next time those voices try to bully you call me so I can show them how bad I am." Johnny rocked Jaehyun in his arms as he brushed back his hair with one hand. "Ok?" 

Jaehyun looked up at Johnny with red eyes and puffy cheeks. "Ok I will." Jaehyun got on his tiptoes and kissed the giant on the lips. "I'm grateful for you."

"Aww...." Johnny stopped talking when he looked at what Jaehyun had on. "Did you really steal my shirt?" Johnny picked up Jaehyun and started to run around with him in his arms. 
















I tried 👉👈
I hope you guys like it!
Oh happy valentines💖💖💖
Just incase you don't have one on Monday, I will gladly Be your valentine!
Now I share my love ❤❤🧡🧡💗💛💛💚💚💙💙💜💜🤎🤎🖤🖤💘💘

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