Only You

His Funeral

Dear Diary, 

I've never liked funerals. I don't think anyone has. They are a gathering to get together to notice that someone has died and today I have to attend Adrien's funeral. I'm not ready. I know I'm going to break down the moment I step into that room. The room full of everyone's teary eyes and their sorrow. 

I'm not ready. Knowing that the one boy I truly loved was gone hurts. And to know we could've been together the whole time hurts even more. It hurts so bad. I want to rip my heart out of my chest. I don't want to feel the pain anymore. I want it to all just go away. 

-At the funeral-

Everyone was staring at me as I walked in. I didn't like all the eyes on me. I brought a package of tissues, I knew I was going to need them.

Alya came to the door to greet me. "Hey girl, how are you holding up?" She said with a dreary voice, like she too was holding back tears.

I lied and said, "I'm alright." 

I wasn't. I wasn't "alright" at all. I felt like a sitting volcano waiting for the exact moment to burst.

I was asked to write a speech. Of course I didn't turn down the request. I wanted the world to know about Adrien and how dreamy he was. But now that the time has come I don't know if I'll be able to do it. 

Two reasons-

1. I can't talk about ALL the memories I have with him. I mean as Ladybug, my identity is still a secret, even though we already defeated Hawkmoth.

2. Adrien was the first boy I've ever loved. Like truly loved. There's no way I'm making it past one sentence without breaking down. 

"Marinette, will you please come up and say your speech now?" Nathalie called from up front.

As I stood up all the eyes landed on me once again. I gave Alya a "please come with me" look, she took my hand and we made our way to the front.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat, already choking back tears, "Adrien Agreste," I started, shuffling the paper I held in my hands, "You know, we weren't friends at first," I slightly smiled for the first time in a long time, "I remember the first day he came to school, the beginning of sophomore year, I walked in the classroom to see him scraping gum off my seat, like the gentleman he was, but I didn't know that at the moment, I thought he was putting the gum on my seat, so I yelled at him," Everyone giggled in the slightest way possible, "The next day it was raining, and I was waiting outside, cold and wet, he saw me and apologized for the day before, letting me know what actually happened, and then he offered me his umbrella, I took it and it closed on me, instead of making fun of me we laughed together, I looked in his eyes and that's the exact moment I fell in love," My eyes started to water, "I wanted to tell him for so long, but now- now-," I couldn't finish my sentence. 

I turned around and buried myself into Alya's shoulder as the tears just poured out of my eyes. Nathalie escorted us off the front stage.

"Thank you Marinette, that was a very touching story to hear." Nathalie assured.

I sat in silence for the rest of the funeral. Stuck in my own head. Constantly having my tears drowning me. I knew people were staring. I didn't care at that moment. All I wanted was for Adrien to be in my arms.