My Desire to Live ( Khun x OC )

Prologue

the art you see now is the art of my OC after being reborn in the Tower

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Prologue

It's strange, for some time now, everything is no different to me, maybe adolescence takes its toll, why can't I feel my old fuse, which was a minute ago, why did everything disappear as soon as I saw this white sheet?

I have never considered myself the kind of person who wants to be perfect, but subconsciously I understand that I am this person.

Why do I want to be perfect?  Why do I need it?

Someone tell me why I can't write a single line, but when I write it seems disgusting to me, and I just delete everything, what I post gives me pain, I hate this feeling, and people write what they like, because of  what i think they are hypocrites who want to stab me in the back.

Maybe this is due to the fact that once my gullibility let me down, and I received a blow from a person whom I knew all my life, after that I thought that everything is fine, I'm fine, it doesn't mean anything to me, but I thought about her every day  remembering how good we were with her, this has been going on for five years, and right after pleasant memories, I think, and when she began to hate me, say jokes that belittle me, humiliate and poison me, we often quarreled with her literally at every meeting, but I didn’t  she didn’t want to leave her either.It was naive of me to believe that everything would change, and when I began to think that I had forgotten everything and it was just the past, she returned and wrote to me that she wanted to make peace and that someone scolded us, I’m not stupid, I know that no one scolded us  , and she simply does not admit her guilt, she did not even write I'm sorry for everything, then why did I want to go to her again, I perfectly understand that together we only get worse, that I will get a knife in the back again, then why do I want to return so badly?

- And you are full of psychological problems Miss Fisher, which in the future can lead you to suicide, so while the only thing I can prescribe for you is antidepressants, please do not forget to take them.

- Okay, I understand you doctor.

- That's all for today, oh yes, try to do what pleases you.

- Bye then!

Ah, as he thought he would not help me in any way, my problem is that now nothing brings me joy.

The girl who just left the hospital is a novice writer, the hardest thing for her is that she is still a teenager without parental care, so in parallel with her failed career, she diligently works on five part-time jobs, in general, she has only 3 hours to sleep, counting the night breaks  shifts, and due to lack of sleep, stress and overwork, she has big health problems, not only of a physical, but also of a mental nature.  Only the desire to live keeps her from dying, but how long it is is unknown.

Now it’s the end of her working day, she enters her small one-room apartment, located in an old crumbling building, and the area where she is located is considered the worst part of the city, on the way here you can see scattered syringes, I don’t even want to imagine what was in them, broken bottles  from under alcohol, on the way you will meet gypsies, no, not those who are sitting peacefully in their society or simply begging, but those who rob you in groups and do not think to resist, otherwise they will put a knife to your throat, the police do not get here, they already  long ago bribed by the local drug den. People who used to live here have long lost hope for a bright future in this place, and left, and the rest, either are participants in this lawlessness, or have no choice for personal reasons, which is why our friend Miss Fisher is forced to stay here.

She also does not like this place, in principle, she does not stay here for a long time, as has already been said, she spends here only three hours of her life, every day, because of this, in her apartment there is only: a table, a chair, a cot, a sink,  toilet and shower, as she herself explains, the apartment should not be comfortable, at least for her, because if the apartment is cozy in it you want to stay longer, well, this desire will have a bad effect on her performance.
But who left the teenage girl herself to deal with non-childish problems.

Why wasn't she taken to the orphanage?

And all because in fact she has a guardian, this is her aunt Marie, who adopted the girl immediately after the death of her parents then Miss Fisher was only sixteen years old, but with Aunt Marie, it is also not so simple, she only wanted to use the desperate girl to expand the business  , namely prostitution, Marie herself was a woman of age and was not getting younger every year, using less and less popularity, she decided to take the young and pretty Miss Fisher so that she would become her replacement and feed her along with herself and her with the money earned, only the plan failed  , because despite the despair of the young miss, she had pride and honor that did not allow her to cross this line.

Of course, after the refusal she was kicked out, she was no longer needed.  So, taking fate into her own hands, she still lives, now it makes no sense to go to the orphanage, because in a year, she will already be eighteen.

Now lying on the bed trying to fall asleep, she hears a shot from the next apartment, then another and another.  This can no longer be an accident.

Getting out of bed to check what is happening, the girl opens the door and goes out into a dark corridor, passing through which a strange unpleasant sensation appears, reaching the end she starts slowly opening the door of the thirteenth apartment.

- I beg your pardon, strange sounds of gunshots were heard from your apartment, are you okay?

Not hearing an answer, she slowly walked into the apartment, which was in ruin, her breathing became more and more confused with every step, and fear was whipping up.  The house itself did not help her, there were only old, torn wallpaper, left over from the Soviet Union, and the smell of musty.

- Are you okay?  - the girl decided to ask again, only now she had a more shaking voice.

At the end of the hallway there was a kitchen, and Miss Fisher decided to look in there, but what she saw there shocked her.
The landlord lay dead on the floor, his blood spilling over the white square tiles of the floor.  Three shots were visible in the chest, from a pistol.

- Mister !!!  My God, what to do, where to go?  Should I call the ambulance first, or go to the police, although none of them will come here.
There was a crack behind my back, from a broken plate, a shot was heard, and then silence.

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