⚠⚠⚠⚠This chapter includes suicidal things, if you get sick by reading about cutting this probably isn't for you just skip the chapter or just that part⚠⚠⚠⚠
I pace around the room biting my nails.
"Alexis-" Luke starts to say.
"No no no no" I say panicking.
"Alexis it's going to be alright." Luke hugs me and I shake my head crying.
"There going to hate me! They already think I'm a slut!" I cry.
"Your not a slut they just don't know the truth." He states.
"But if they did know the truth they'd hate me even more." I frown.
"You don't know that." He says.
"Yeah I do. No Matter what I do there going to hate me. Maybe I should just die." I sit on the bed and Luke frowns.
"Don't talk like that." He says.
"But I'm being serious." I say.
"No your not! You can't die! You have so much good things in your life!" Luke tries to persuade me.
"Yeah?? Like what Luke??" I stare at him.
"Like me..." Luke says slowly.
"Name 2 other things." I stare out the window.
"Your beautiful and imagine leaving Amelia and Arabelle. You can't do that." He sighs.
"Yeah well I just might." I say.
"Whatever. I tried." Luke starts crying and leaves the room. I curl up into a ball and cry.
"Why am I so stupid?!!" I scream throwing my phone and sob. I stand up and run over to the dresser I reach in it and find a razor. Perfect. I drag it along my skin slowly, watching blood start to trickle down my arm. I scream in pain but continue to do it. There's voices running through my head
"Slut"
"Thot"
"Whore"
"Hoe"
"Die bitch"
"Your fat"
"Your ugly"
"Your worthless"
"You deserve to die."
I cut. Once. Twice. Three times. More. Until I feel light headed. I try to stand up and notice the pile of blood surrounding me. Nice. I stumble over to my bag and reach for a bottle of pills. I take not one, not two, but the whole bottle, I drink them down and then I feel even more light headed and dizzy until ....
Luke's POV
I walk back into me and Alexis room after a while because I need to apologize and be there for her. I walk in and look around, I don't see her. I open up the bathroom door after knocking on it and I scream at the sight.
Alexis.
Laying on the floor.
Passed out.
Surrounded by blood.
"Alexis. No no no no no!!" I fall to my knees and cry. I pick her up and run down the hallway banging on sam's door.
"Sam please help!" I scream crying.
"What?" Sam says as he's opening the door. He notices who's in my arms and his eyes widen and he grabs his keys, he runs to the elevator and I follow. We run to the car and Sam drives to the hospital, I keep Alexis on my lap trying to stop some of the blood with my shirt. I look up at Sam sobbing
"Please .. Hurry.." I beg. Sam parks and we run inside.
"Help!" Me and Sam cry in sink. The nurses roll out a cot and lay her on it. We watch her being pushed away and I fall to my knees and cry.
"Luke.. Come on.." Sam helps me up and leads me to the waiting room.
"What happened?" Sam asks after I've finally calmed down.
"I.. We were on YouNow and we kissed thinking YouNow was turned off but really it didnt, she was talking suicide but I didn't think she would actually do it, I left the room giving her some space and when I came back I found her on the bathroom floor.." I breathe in and then start crying again. Sam sighs and rubs my back.
"It's ok.. I figure this contract isn't worth losing her to.. Ill end it.. Ill find a way.. " Sam says and I nod wiping my eyes. I look down at all the blood on my shirt, her blood.
"Go change.. Ill be right here.." Sam gives me a small smile and I nod, I walk out to sam's car and find one of his shirts, I change into it and walk back in. I sit down and pull out my phone texting Alexis's family, even though they may not care and Alexis will be pissed.. I want them to know what's going on. After I text her family I make sure and to text Arabelle and her other friend that she met at the event. People call to find out further information, I don't tell them about much just the part that she's in the hospital and why. Excluding the big reason why. I go through Alexis phone and go through her tweets.
So many people are
Calling her mean things and it makes me feel horrible inside. This is possibly all of my fault and I didn't mean to hurt her, god I've loved her since the days I lied eyes on her. And then I've always just been jealous of Sam.. But I finally felt that all of that jealousy could go away.. But it hasn't.
And I don't know why.
