Heartfelt Notions

Mental Health Awareness

This month, the month of May, is Mental Health Awareness Month, so I'd like to make people more aware of it. This past year, suicide has been at an all time high due to the inability to spend time away from home and/or with friends, so I'd like to share my story in hopes that it'll help you. I suffer from being extremely overweight, and I've suffered a lot of psychological trauma because of it. Every time that someone says "I should go on a diet" or change something so that I can be at a healthier weight, I get sad because I've tried many methods to try and lose weight. About two and a half years ago, someone said something that changed everything. He said he believed that I could lose weight. At that particular time, I had completely given up. His words encouraged me to try again like it was a push I didn't know that I needed.

Since then, I've lost zero pounds and several inches off my waist. I've also learned various things that are important for me to acknowledge. First, I have insulin resistance which means my body produces plenty of insulin which is the hormone that tells the cells to take in sugar from the blood after a meal, but my cells don't completely listen to the hormone which causes my body to think I'm starving even when I'm not. Second, the higher amount of stress in my life contributes to weight gain because I stress don't eat which causes my body to truly go into starvation mode. I have to eat every couple of hours to balance my insulin resistance, but if I'm highly stressed, then I'll end up skipping eating nearly entirely until my stress levels go down. Third, I'm an anxious person. I have high levels of anxiety which can cause added stress.

The combination of anxiety and stress causes my intestines to knot up, make me feel sick, and make me unable to eat. As a result, I keep my levels of stress as low as possible, and I stay away from activities that make me anxious. I also suffer from depression about my weight. It makes me feel worthless when one of my family members mentions it because even though I'm trying it seems to never be enough for them, so I have to tell myself that I'm beautiful the way I am, that weight is just a number, and I'm good enough as I am which, after a day or two, stops any depression and thoughts of worthlessness that are filling my mind. Thankfully, I'm not clinically depressed, but I do know people who are. I'm begging each of you to talk to someone if you're feeling depressed. Talk to me if you have to. I'll gladly listen, give hugs, and give my support to make you feel better. Directly message me, and if you can't then comment below that you'd like so that I can give you a way to. Thanks for reading.