Sharing Annabelle

Chapter Fifteen - Jesse

Part 15

Jesse

I've kissed a man before.

I keep reminding myself of the game of truth or date I played in college at a party one night and Lily Simmons dared me to kiss her boyfriend, Samuel. I was a little drunk and the kiss was definitely more for show than for real, but it wasn't that bad.

I've kissed a man before, sure. But I've never been left thinking about it for nearly a full day afterword. Reeling over it. Fucking obsessing about it.

Because the man I kissed was Nico.

I get myself a beer and turn on a hockey game, convincing myself that I'm not having a gay freak out. I'm not a homophobe. And I don't think that I'm one of those people who is cool with other people being gay but would secretly have an issue if it were myself.

This is different. Because it's Nico.

I've been in bed with Nico a million times. Held him while he slept. Often while neither of us was wearing much of anything. And I never felt the urge for anything sexual with him.

I don't know what made me order Nico to get on his knees for me.

I'm not that bossy, domineering guy.

I mean... Anna and I play around like that sometimes, but that energy that was coursing through my veins last night... That was a version of myself I've never seen before.

I don't know if I like it. But I'm hard as an iron thinking about it.

I finish my beer and get another. Then another. Because I'd rather not deal with these feelings right now and drinking seems to be the best possible way to put off unboxing the fact that I got the blow job of my life last night from my very male best friend, who I then ordered to fuck the woman I love.

Five beers in and the world is a nice, warm, fuzzy place where if I suddenly have to confront my latent bisexuality, I'm just fine with it.

But by seven, I'm way less chill. I'm a weird combination of anxious and horny. So I decide that I'm no more use to myself tonight and haul my drunk ass off to bed. Anna's going to be at a club, probably until the wee hours of the morning, so I'm going to be fast asleep when she stumbles in. And I don't know when Nico's coming back from... wherever he is. Point is, I'm in no state to see either of them in person.

The second I close my eyes, though, I'm replaying last night. It doesn't take long before I give into the urge to jerk off before passing out cold.

Sleep is short-lived, though. Around three in the morning, I wake to a phone call. I'm tempted to ignore it, but the ID says 'Anna,' so I answer.

"What's up?" I ask, hoping I'm not slurring my words.

"I need you to come to the club."

"Not sure I can do that. I've had a few drinks and I can't drive. I'll call you an Uber or something if you want."

"Please," she says, begging, "Nico's here and he's really drunk and he's about to go into some back room with some guys."

"Nico's free to do whatever he wants," I tell her. "He doesn't owe us anything, Anna. We're not suddenly becoming a throuple or doing the open relationship thing."

"That's not..."

"Nico can fuck other people."

"Not when he's this drunk, Jesse," she snarls. "He's practically falling over himself. He's with these two guys and... I don't know. I've just got a really bad feelings about how this is going to go down."