Dear Arthur,

Introduction,

🚨TW: PHYSICAL ABUSE/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/MENTAL UNSTABILITY🚨

"Dear Arthur,"
That is what I had written on the paper.
"I know you can see this"
Arthur won't speak to me. I don't understand why. He is very quiet but has been even quieter lately. All I wanted was to speak to him.

It gets lonely being by myself with no one to talk to most of the time. I am 100% deaf in both ears. Can't hear anything at all. There is absolutely nothing that can help.

I sat in a dark room pen in my right hand. And the piece of paper I was given on the floor. I practically lived in that room. Most of the day I sat there talking to Arthur. Except when I went to school. I was allowed an education but no contact with other people.

The other kids grew up normally. I longed for a normal childhood. But, I was given this dirty depressing one. So much time has passed that I no longer cared for it anymore. I wish I had never existed. Why would the lords treat me this way?  Is all I ask. All I really want is explanation. At least I had Arthur....

Loneliness can affect someone deeper than you may understand. Arthur helps me a lot. But he also punishes me. By not speaking...

He knows it hurts me yet he still does it. I've only developed a few feelings. Pain, sorrow, and lonesome. There is not much to talk about. What do you want me to say? I grew up in this room.

Occasionally a long muscular man (whom I call Mik) comes into the room to give me food and water. I don't speak to him. I did this one time. All I said was "please" and I was hit. Obviously I can't hear myself so my plead probably didn't sound like one. The only other times I've spoken we're yes and no's from questions.

"Arthur please come back," I wrote.
"It is starting to hurt again"
Whenever Arthur is gone, the mental pain turns into physical pain. It feels like a key being jammed and turned into your chest trying desperately to unlock something. I started to hyperventilate.

Arthur had been gone for days now. I was starting to fear he had gone away forever. Tears fell down my cheeks. I ran to my corner. After about an hour of crying, I became tired and unintentionally fell asleep.

I woke up, unsure of the time, for there had been no clock. The pen and paper still laying on the floor. I looked up to the rough gray, dirty ceiling. Like anything had changed, I practically memorized every stain or mark. After a few long minutes I heard knocking

𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔.....

It was in my head, though.
"Arthur..." I said in my head. Arthur responded
"Eiro... I'm sorry"
"Arthur you hurt me. It hurt so bad. I wanted to kill myself. It was almost unbearable."

Arthur is a man who lives in the back of my head. I have never seen his face nor spoken to him with my mouth. We communicate through our minds. He has described himself though... He is not dead... Or a ghost.

He is an entity that, kind of floats behind me. Following and watching me. Except for when he ignores me or when he is dormant. Arthur is a tall boy, around the age of 16. He is long and slim. Long black hair with a strict jawline. Slender limbs with short hands but long fingernails. He wears clothes. He has never changed but he wears a long black trenchcoat, glasses, he says he likes to keep his hair free and flowy. His depiction is almost feminine but can be androgynous depending on how you look at it.

Arthur has been with me my whole life. He says he doesn't remember himself before he met me. We both considered if he was somehow "assigned?" to me by the lords. A normal human may not comprehend what I just said. But I assure you Arthur is real. Always protecting me.

Mik does not know about him (obviously since I don't speak to him). Since I rarely speak I guess you could consider me mute. Thing is, every time I do speak it results in punishment.

"Arthur what do you think happens when you die?" I thought.
"Heavy subject. But a good question. I believe that the lords will take the two of us in and love us for eternity. Eiro we can be peaceful. We won't have to be cold or worry when Mik will bring us out next
meal before we starve to death."

"Arthur I want to kill myself"
I'm not suicidal but I wasn't happy in life. I've never even felt the emotion happy. What was the point? I had put faith in the lords but all they do is bring me pain. I still continued to believe that this pain was not their doing, though. Dumb, I know. But to keep me stable in my kind of situation that is what I had to do.

I questioned if the lords even existed. Well, they brought me Arthur so they must have. It was time for school.... Mik came in and left the door open. No words were exchanged no glances or eye contact. It was the same thing every day. I grabbed my school bag and walked out of the house.

I never considered running away. What was I going to do? I can't communicate other than writing. I can read people's lips but they can't read mine. Plus, I had no motivation or anything to push myself. Arthur didn't make me happy. He didn't make me sad either. It was only pain. Arthur was just a person I could talk to.

I kept my head down at school and waiting for the rush of kids to run to their classrooms. I was sat in the front so that I could read the teacher's lips. We were one whole quarter into the year yet I never bothered to learn her name. I only had two classes today.

I'm not sure why, but I had less classes than the rest of the kids. I was a freshman in high school. Nothing special.