Love is No Cure

Defending My Life

After spilling my guts to Ryker, we chatted about what has been happening in the prison when I'm not here. Donnie – one of the inmates – got into a fight with Bentley. Donnie is always getting into fights with his fellow prisoners, usually the prison guards don't find out why or who he fights, he always tells us that it was someone from behind. Majority of the time it was Bentley.

The only reason I know this is because Ryker makes it his business to know everything about anyone. He says it's to protect me but I don't believe that is the whole truth.

When it reached around 10 o'clock I headed back to the prison, my shift ended at 10:30. Ryker headed back about half an hour before me. All inmates have a 9:45 curfew, to be ready for lights out at 10. The right air had gotten chilly, that didn't faze me.

The empty halls had an eerie silence to them. The walls reaching out to grab all my little secrets. Hushed whispers of spirits, past and present. Lives were changed and Lives were lost in these halls.

The staff room was filled with tired faces and exhausted bodies. Coffee floated through the room, a hint of tea was smelt every now and again. I sat on the floor in front of the T.V as that was the only spot available.

"Have a slice, you look like you're going to pass out!" Dallas exclaimed, shoving the pizza box in my face. The fatty cheese, and over cooked ham filled my nostrils. My stomach grumbled. Punching my stomach, I pulled the smallest slice out of the box. Walking to the kitchen I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Consuming the water, I waited for my stomach to register the amount of space it had available. After a minute or so I began to slowly nibble on my slice. A third of the way through my slice I became full.

"You have to eat more than that!" Dallas cried, from across the room.

"I'm full, I can't eat anymore." I replied. My mind wanted the food but my stomach couldn't handle it.

Pulling out my phone I looked at the time, 11. Where is Lucky? He should be here by now. Half an hour is long enough. He better not have forgotten me! If he forgot me I'm going to kill him. It is freezing cold, it's wet, and I'm tired.

"Hello," Lucky's tired voice filled my speaker.

"Where the fuck are you?" I cursed him.

"Someone will be there in 5, I swear." There was chatting and laughing in the static background. He's at a party! Where is Tyra? He hasn't picked her up. Why would he choose to go to a part rather than pick up his niece?

"Where is Tyra?" I enquired. She better be safe.

"She is fine." With that Lucky hung up the phone.

He hung up the phone, he actually hung up on me! Why could he tell me where my daughter is? If something happens to her I am going to lose my shit. I'm fuming, I began to pace around to try and cool off from my massive bouts of anger. When I had gained control of my erratic breathing and could no longer see red, a car all too familiar pulled up to the bus stop I have been waiting at. The window rolled down and the face of the person was now visible.

"Get in." he stated. Grudgingly I climbed into the passenger seat.

The car ride was filled with silence, both of us avoiding the growing elephant that was slowly consuming all the space in this roomy car.

After a few wrong terms, I realised we weren't home to my gorgeous girl.

"Where are we going?" I enquired, my voice raising a few octaves. I wasn't necessarily worried, as I believe I can trust him.

"We are taking a little detour. We need to have a little chat," Axel replied, glancing at me before focusing back on the road ahead of us. He didn't give me any reassuring smiles or gestures. Nothing at all.

We soon arrived at a scenery bay. From the scenery bay I could see out over the foreshore and across the town. We both got out of the car. The sea breeze slammed into my bare legs and whipped my hair into my face.

Once I got my hair tied up into a messy bun, on top of my head, I found Axel leaning against the railing and staring out at the black sea. I slowly and quietly crept my way over to the right side of him.

We were quiet for a while, just sharing the tranquil piece the crashing waves brought. It was so quiet I almost didn't hear the whispered question Axel had asked.

"Huh?" I queried, I need to hear him say it. I had to make sure my ear did not deceive me.

"Why do you do it?" Axel asked, clearer now as if he isn't afraid of the answer anymore. His eyes latched onto the mine mesmerising me as they did only this morning. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't think of a way to tell him the truth without crying. That's when I did something I never thought I would do. Something so out of character I shocked myself. I snapped.

"Why do you care? Why now? Two years since I needed your help with Tyra, TWO GODDAMN YEARS! I don't need your help anymore, I have been handling it fine on my own." By the end of my outburst I had stomped my way to the end of the railing and the edge of the cliff.

"EVERLYN! You're not handling this just fine!" Axel picked my hand up and held my palm out, exposing the raw angry lines.

"This is not handling well, this is not you!" I never have any control of my life. At this point I swear I saw stream billow out his flared nostrils. His anger didn't scare me into submission, no, it only fuelled my own. He has no right to be angry with me! I am 19, I can make my own decisions on how I am to cope with the obstacles that life throws at me. This what Life has driven me too, all other options have been exhausted.

"I'M FINE!" I snapped, ripping my arm from his grasp and turning my back. I will not him to see the traitorous tear that slid down the ice cold apple of my cheek.

"Everlyn," Axel's voice filled with concern. I continued to look out at the midnight sky and dangerous ocean. How easily I could jump and this would all be over. I just take one step and all would disappear. I felt the warmth of Axel's chest against my back. A stinging sensation filled my cheek and palms as I realised I was clenching my fists, to prevent the dam walls from breaking.

"Please, just take me home," I whispered. I needed to see my baby, my little angel.

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